unbelievable.

alvin calls me to tell me that my way home from work is a parking lot for like 10 miles because of an accident. (what a good friend. thanks, man!) okay. so i wait it out. i'm about to leave and i hear that there is "breaking news" on eastbound 696.

the freeway is closed right smack dab in the middle of my commute.

i hate that there is no other good way home. yuck. i hate traffic.

i should not complain. it's practically friday. we will be in nyc at this time tomorrow. =D

an event for the books:

Jedi 43
Pearl 35
Final

that's right. jedi rocked today. woohoo!!! go jedi!

don't you hate when you stop on a bad movie on tv and you just can't stop watching it? horrible acting and all.

people at my work make a big deal about st. patrick's day. people even took vacation days today. they aren't even irish. is it really such a great day to celebrate by drinking beer and eating corned beef all day long? i don't get it.

two things i learned this weekend:

1. paolo is really smart. i actually already knew this. it was just re-affirmed by his extensive knowledge of everything from body fat to whatever question was on the red cranium cards.

2. it is possible to laugh so hard that you are close to throwing up. perhaps this only happens when there is a lot of food that has been consumed. regardless, it is possible.


feel free to leave your favorite catchphrase clues in the comment box. =)

i just noticed that the blogger ad at the top of my page corresponds to the day's post. like for my last post...there were ads about swimming with dolphins and personlized pregnancy calendars. creepy.

i'm picking up lorie from the airport tomorrow. that will be my 6th time in two weeks that i've been there. that's a lot.

i just got back from mississippi. memphis, actually. i was barely in mississippi. but i feel i was in mississippi long enough to mark it off on my "states i've visited map". my hotel was really close to graceland, but i didn't go. i did eat fried pickles and a bbq sandwich and a mississippi mud pie. i felt it was appropriate, being in the south and all. fried pickles are interesting. think blooming onion (including the sauce) but pickle instead of onion. like i said: interesting. who would ever think to fry a pickle?

i think about food a lot these days. i'm gonna have to buy new pants soon.

i totally got nothing done today.

this is an unsettling feeling.

i hate having unsettling feelings. it means you know that you did something wrong or didnt' do something you know you should have done. ugh.

at least it's friday. tgif.

it was a year ago around this time that eric proposed.
six months later we were married.
and now i'm 17 weeks pregnant.

that is really weird to see written out.

after 3 more weeks we'll be able to find out if it's a boy or girl, and "legolas", "yahyah", "ice", and "it" will no longer be necessary (although affectionate) when referring to the baby. it is still so crazy to me. good crazy. mind blowing that there's another person in my tummy. lorie once told me that they don't really like for pregnant women to be in the water when a group is swimming with the dolphins at discovery cove. apparently, the dolphins can hear the baby's heartbeat and are drawn to it, therefore playing favorites with the pregnant woman. anyways, tangent.

we're gonna go watch the passion tonight. i really wish i got to see it in sd...

who knew monkeys and apes and orangutangs and gorillas were really that much fun to watch? last friday i realized just how much eric is entertained by primates. it is instant laughs when it's the real thing and not puppets. we're talking tears, people. who knew? i thought it was a guy thing...but after a sombering conversation with these old lady volunteers about saving the sun bears, visiting monkeys sounded like a good idea to get cheered up.

i miss my san diego buddies. good trip. made buttons. lots of buttons. dumb ones and dave's son ones. (it was probably a good thing that hong's computer broke or else i feel many many more dumb buttons would have been made.) one of the very good things was that i finally got to watch gene perform. yay! watching friends doing what they love makes me happy. and playing soccer with friends is a very good thing. watching jon attempt a header when the ball was on the ground was a bonus. the "don't hurt the pregnant lady" rule made it infinitely easier to bring the ball up from the back. hehe. =P

i'm gonna go eat subway now in honor of hongk and him letting us crash at the hotel this weekend.

hi.

i'm about to go to the san diego zoo with eric, galvez, and james.

happy friday!

feet still hurt from standing for 3 hours in high heels on saturday night. yuck. glad i can wear sneakers to the office.

the trailer that eric and ny and joel put together for the emagine theater contest won first place. woohoo! all i want to say is how great it is to have your very own medium popcorn and medium drink for FREE at the movies. (thanks, guys!) although....it may not have been so wise to actually FINISH the entire medium popcorn we each had to ourselves. especially if you asked for extra butter. hehe. i can still feel the butter in my throat. ewwwww. but at the same time...yummy!

and guess what? i'm hungry! heehee. time for lunch. =D

do you think they (whoever "they" are) tell us to drink eight 8-oz. glasses of water a day because we really need that much water a day or because they know we won't drink that much a day, and any feeble attempt to drink that much water in a day would be sufficient water intake for the day? *exhale* i'm just saying that it's really hard to do. they should keep a supply of lemon wedges next to the water cooler at work. and why does restaurant water taste so much better than the water at home?

i sneeze violently. i'm pretty sure i've talked about this before. but it's the kind where you have to relax when you're done because it was so intense. definitely not very lady-like. i think i scare my co-workers when i sneeze. and i've been sneezing so much that they've stopped saying "bless you" after. =/

people in this part of the office don't steal my box of kleenex like they did when i sat in the back. i like that.

i'm totally eating a girl scout cookies right now. i know you're jealous. (well not you, ameer.)

don't you hate it when your boss comes up to you and says, "hey, you got a minute?" and then gestures for you to follow her (or him) to her (or his) office and closes the door.

yikes. =/

in my head i'm thinking "wow, this is either very serious business or very serious gossip." turned out to be a little bit of both.

i have a lot to think about. (which i guess is a nice change from the non-thinking that usually goes on in my head.) it's all very strange. i'll have to talk more about it later....

i'm definitely hypersensitive to my clothes smelling like food. i ALWAYS think my clothes smell like food, and i get paranoid that other people will be offended by me because i smell like food. apparently, i'm crazy.

people in my office keep talking about the atkins diet/low or no carb diet. i think it's strange that people would just want to eat meat and fat all day long just to lose weight. why would you put yourself through that? i think there's something to be said about a well-balanced diet, aka eating regular food with a few fruits and vegetable thrown in every day and drinking water (think the food pyramid). there must be a reason that doctors keep telling us to do it, right? it couldn't be because it actually works?? =P AND you get to eat all the food groups. not just the cows and pigs and fish and chickens and their fat. it's so crazy how widespread this diet has become...so much that restaurants and fast food chains have added it to their menus? i think that people also tend to forget that part of the deal with a lot of diets is that you have to also exercise. *gasp*

remember when we could eat and eat and eat whatever we wanted and never have to worry about it? that was nice.

i feel like i should blog because i seriously have nothing to do here at work. i can't check blogs anymore because it's no fun to read the same entries from forever ago. hint, hint. i have resorted to checking the grocery store ads to see what stuff i need to buy because it's on sale. so sad.

did you know that h&m has a maternity section? what a relief. you can get cute pants (and ajustable!) for super cheap. i don't understand why so much of the maternity stuff you see in the regular stores assume that pregnant people will want to wear piping and floral patterns in pastels. or just ugly clothes. hello. these are the same people that were shopping a few months ago in the next section over with nice clothes for normal belly-sized people.

hong is funny today.

and my blog is done.

i hate that blogout is down. i can't comment on any of your blogs that use it. =(

random: which would you prefer? ny strip steak or prime rib? and what do you think about chicken wellington? i was never really fan of meat wrapped in puff pastry....

aaaannnd.....

happy birthday lorie!!

sooooooOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOO bored. how does one become productive with nothing to do?

my computer is set to lock out after 20 minutes of sitting idle. i set that like two years ago, and now i can't figure out how i did it. i keep getting back to my computer after 19 minutes and 58 seconds of idle-ness pass. it's just annoying. i have to wait for the computer to lock, and then i have to log back in. help? anyone? and it's a network lock-out, not a screen saver one. i tried to get in through the network properties. nope. no good. this is the excitement of the work day. woo. hoo.

cold business.

it's cold here.
it's cold in the south. (north carolina is the south, right?)
i have a cold.

i actually stayed home sick today. staying home sick when you're actually sick is not so fun.

however: despite the cold, i might never exchange four seasons for one long summer (sorry, cali people). at least not anytime soon. =D

it is snowing. and it keeps snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

....

it hasn't stopped since this morning.

the end.

i'm really bad at eating apples. i'm definitely an apple slices girl...but here's the thing: if you cut your apple before you go to work, the slices are gonna turn brown by the time you want to eat them. thumbs down on brown apple slices. i mean, you could rub them with lemon to keep them from oxidizing, but who wants to take time to do that? thus, the apple stays whole and is difficult to eat. it gets stuck in your teeth and apple juice is flying everywhere. why is it that fruit tastes so much better when chilled? mmm.

wow. the guy in the next cube just left. he's always here really late, making me feel guilty for leaving early (early in my office = before 6pm). i heard my manager leave, too. hmmm....do i stay or do i go? ahhhh! i must say that i was actually productive today. i learned stuff, too. it's kind of exciting to learn new stuff. i might actually be smart in my conference call on thursday. i hate being the junior engineer that just sits there not being able to contribute. although...it's scary to say anything conclusive in front of a client...they're gonna spend money based on what you just said, and wow, it would suck if you were wrong and cost them 50 grand.

decision: i'm going home.

so

sleeeeppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

happy friday!

finally.

this is me leaving early. woohoo! have a good weekend!!

i feel really bad. i sent a report to one of the project managers that always gives me work...and he called back: "is there something wrong? usually your reports are impeccable and i'm sending you a lot of comments." dangit. first of all, i didn't think that he thought my work was impeccable...especially since i felt he was pretty hard on me when i first started doing work for him. and second, i hate disappointing people. he thought i was suffering from a concussion or something. well i'm suffering from being constantly nauseated and crazy hormone changes, but i haven't told my manager yet and i didn't think he should be the first to know. bleh. work stuff. i'll get over it. and just to add to my day...i finally get my butt out of bed early enough that i'll be on time for work and it takes me two hours to get here. *sigh*

my mom is the cutest ever. this is an email she sent to my uncles and cousins:

-----

Subject: Good news!

I'm a future grandma. I'm so excited! rah rah rah

-----

who says rah rah rah? so cute. i love her to death.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

hellooooo 2004!

it's so sad that all my email consists of mortgage lenders and store promotions. can we please start emailing each other again?

so this is really hard to be sitting here with the other two people in the office. my manager just took off because she doesn't want to be here. nice. i think i slept too much over the weekend...got too used to it. i've been fighting sleep all day. blah blah blah. christmas was good. good times, good family, good food. lots of food. why don't i have more leftovers? they replayed the 1999 women's world cup final last night. what a sweet game. the u.s. women's soccer team rocks. they're just so endearing. i have no point to this blog.

aaaand...i'm done babbling.

what a busy weekend. eventful. crazy. fun. and that's all i have to say about that.

it's not even 10:00am and i'm already at my desk. =O!! it's like the first time in two weeks that i actaully started working at 8:00am. wow. i'm a bad employee. so here i am blogging because i'm avoiding doing my timesheet because..well, i really didn't do much work last week. i hate that. well whatever. things are slow. i think i'm over that one for now.

is it just me, or does it not feel like christmas time?

on my way to work this morning, the radio people announced that the nba was going to start a "basketblog". doc rivers and some other dude were going to be the first ones to start. are people really gonna read this???

it seriously would not have mattered if i came into work yesterday. or even today. i'm completely not busy. if only i didn't have a commitment on tuesday nights...i would be boarding right now. ahhh..boarding. =) there's nothing like the feeling of sitting at the top of a run and then standing up to take the first run...and then the sinking feeling that you might suck cuz it's been almost a year since the last time you've done this. hehe. there's also nothing like psyching yourself out on the way up the chair lift that you're gonna bite it while trying dismount. *note to self: need to shorten leash.

remember when we were in tahoe and hong laughed at every single one of us falling off the chair lift, the whole time not knowing he had a gash in his shin that went down to the bone?

i miss our big boarding trips. BUT! i'm glad we can have these mini boarding trips to our cute michigan "mountains".

punctuation lesson of the day:

is it...

a) The drum was labeled "empty."

or

b) The drum was labeled "empty".

??????????????????????????????

it's that time of year when doorknobs get dangerous..

you know what i'm talking about: you approach the doorknob. you hesitate. *will i get shocked this time?* you reach to open the doo--bzzt!! of course you'll get shocked! it's december and it's cold and you've been dragging your feet along the carpet. i like how i tap the doorknob first with the back of my hand because of course it won't hurt as much if i use the back of my hand. =P it's really cool when you actually see the voltage. but then it's not so cool because that probably means that it hurt a lot.

i wonder if there are any preventative measures that can be taken to avoid shocks...

you guys remember edsel?

he makes it look so easy.

the camera-ing and editing is not so bad either. you'll need quicktime to view.

my throat hurts. it feels like i'm gonna get really sick. the last time this happened to me was when i was 13 and it was like the only day i ever stayed home sick in junior high.

in other news: we're having our quarterly office bbq today. (yay! free lunch!) every quarterly office bbq our office manager spends a good portion of the morning cooking (or man-cooking, aka grilling) for the entire office. i think that's so nice. cooking for someone says a lot. totally changes my perspective on him. huh.

in less thrilling news: ever since i've moved cubes, no one has stolen my box of tissues....*pause*... should i have just said that out loud?

it is nice when a stranger smiles at you.

here's a story for the day:

there was this girl who lived in the same dorm as me my freshman year. always saw her around....always exchanged friendly smiles. she was one of those people that gave you a genuine smile which made you think she'd be really nice. she was also pretty. after a while we ended up running into each other all over campus and having these five minute conversations...which turned into ten minute conversations...etc...

except i never knew her name.

so everytime i talked to her, i'd be wondering what the heck her name was (fairly certain that she didn't know my name either). i mean, once you get into the frequent 5 minute conversations, you're way past the introductory phase where it would be okay to not know her name. *sigh* so for four years i had all these random conversations with a stranger.

the end.

i've had to talk to quite a few strangers over the last couple days for extended periods of time. i have the following conclusions:

.people are either really nice or really abrasive. i find most people to be very friendly and many of the abrasive ones to be normally friendly people with bad days or pms.

.the normally abrasive people suck to deal with. they make you appreciate the normally friendly people. a lot. i wonder what makes them so harsh. bitterness? perpetual bad attitude? too cynical? too self-centered? social moron?

.there is not much you can do to change a normally abrasive person. just gotta grin and bear it, i guess.

.i am very thankful most people are normally friendly. i don't understand people who aren't. the remorse and guilt that follow meanness would be too much for me to bear...not only that, but isn't it nice to make people smile?

i heard a song on the radio this morning that i could not, no matter how hard i concentrated, figure out some of the words. this is a pretty frequent occurence, and i've been caught way too many times singing the wrong words, so i wanted to look up the words online. i sang the words i knew over and over in my head (filling in the words i didn't know with a mumbled made up word that sounds kinda right) so i wouldn't forget it. and now that i've remembered to look up the song lyrics, i can't remember what the song was or what it was about or even one single part or word in it. darnit. oh, what was that song???

my group is getting slow. you know what this means. we're gonna have tons and tons of work right when we don't want it. oh well. thus is work.

i moved cubes. it's smaller and in an uncool location in the office (read: next to the office nazi and in the same area as the really loud annoying guy.) but whatever, we all got moved around, so it's lonely everywhere now. the plus: my cube is now across from the co-worker that went to the pistons game where they were giving out free tayshaun prince bobble heads to the first 10,000 fans. tayshaun prince is great. and guess who got the co-worker's free bobble head? ME!! yeah! (he didnt' want it, calm down.) it doesn't look like him though. i don't think any of the bobble heads look like the player they are supposed to be. do you bobble your head when you say bobble head? hehehehe....

i ate my chicken shawarma sandwich at my desk, and apparently made my entire section smell like garlic. i can't smell a darn thing, so who knows how bad my breath is kicking at the moment. listerine sheets would be useful right now. i had to settle for shocktarts. tangent. anyway....you know how rubbing your hands on stainless steel under cold water gets the the garlicky and onion-y smell off your hands after you've handled garlic and onions? i wonder if the same would work on your mouth. like if i were to eat with a stainless steel spoon, would the garlic smell go away? i guess it would be faster to suck on a stainless steel spoon, but that's just weird.

the office nazi got kicked out of her office and now has a secretary cube. can you say bitter? she's being nasty today. i hope it goes away.

note to self: next time there's a free kick and you're in the wall, do not connect face with the ball being kicked from five feet away.

apparently the bruises are practically invisible. kimmy says it's just cuz i'm so tan. good thing i went to hawaii.

ahhh...i can see my desk. all of them. this saturday is our office cleanup day (yeah,yeah..working on a saturday. it gets us an extra day off at christmastime.) i'm getting a head start...just so i won't have to work the whole day on saturday. i've removed several pounds of paper off my desk to the filing cart. i know my secretary must love me. ahhahahahahahaha. i must remember to have dusting supplies this weekend. it's too bad my desk has been buried, otherwise i think the cleaning lady might wipe it down every onece in a while. and should we discuss how dirty the phone gets? hmm. i think maybe not? (as i wipe down the earpiece..) eww.....

my manager brought in all her leftover halloween candy*.

*let me first note that her husband bought all kinds of candy -- really good candy -- from bit o' honeys to those huge chewy sweetarts to the inside out reese's peanut butter cups to sprees...you get the point. AND he got LOTS of candy. few trick-or-treaters + lots of candy = lots of leftovers.

i'm not huge on sweets, but when all kinds of candy from my childhood are readily available, i just want to eat it all. (oh, and i'm a girl. 'nuff said.) now the dilemma: my manager sits on the other side of the office (the 'boring' side, if you will) and has placed the candy on the secretary's desk. and i really have no business going over to the boring side of the office near the candy without looking like a complete cow. therefore, i must devise several plans to discuss work-related material with my manager, therefore putting the candy conveniently on my way in or out of her office.

i don't know why someone keeps stealing my box of tissues. =(

it's like someone not replacing the roll of toilet paper.

it's like third grade in my office.

there's a parade --

a BIG clown just walked by complete with the honking red nose. (why do they make their noses honk? is it really that funny?) and there went a headless horsewoman and her pumpkin head...and a doctor...and cruella deville complete with dalmations jacked from a fellow coworker's daughter....and a french maid with purple hair and man legs (that belong to a man)....and a hunter (that's our office manager. he has a sign that says 'A/R hunter' cuz the project managers are really bad at getting invoices out.)...and a genie...and a cowgirl...and a biker chick. man, people went all out. i am highly entertained.

--and we even get a pizza party for lunch!

i just wore all black and brought in kit kats. i have my fairy wings hanging in my cube. i could be like the dark evil fairy.

hmmm.

or not.

anyway...happy halloween!

boredom has taken over.

my manager is gone and i seriously have NOTHING to do. it often seems that i have nothing to do based on my im activities, but really....i'm usually busy. (i'm just an excellent multitasker ;D.) today, nothing. thanks to fung, i have resolved to googling your home phone number (if i have it) to see if your address will pop up in the results.

the office nazi is "orientating" the new employee in the cube kitty corner from mine. it's amazing how sickeningly sweet and nice she is being. little does the new employee know that she is conversing with a horrible little troll that will be the worse secretary ever and most condescending person in the office....

a list:

- chaos soccer rules
- cold corn tortillas: not so good
- i need to buy eggs
- it's really nice out and yesterday it was in the 30s
- i did not barf yesterday, though i was close
- i love gift certificates
- 30-minute meals is a great great thing
- you have to wash a lot of dishes when you cook every day

that's all.

speaking of barfing....i've been dizzy for the last week. i can't quite shake it (..sha-shake it, shake it like a polaroid picture). lorie thinks i might be pregnant. i say no way. alvin's been dizzy all week, too. he, on the other hand, might be pregnant. can i just say how weird it is that if i were to get pregnant right now, that it would be okay?

i might barf* today. we start indoor tonight....fives plus the goalie, 2 girls on the field at all times. i fear that because i haven't run since before the wedding...i just might barf after two minutes on the field. we lost our star girl player this session. boo. so right now there's three girls...and since fung and i don't play offense...sorry, conehead. it's all you. ;D just kidding. you have a sub. just one. =) this is exciting. physical activity. i'm not quite conveying the excitement. let me just give a WOOHOO!!! there we go.

*the funniest word lorie knows is "barf". i think it's the funny because she says it like she's barfing.

why do you think we store our pens/pencils in our pen/pencil cups with the caps up? all my markers and bic pens are sitting in cap-side up. one would think that we would store them the other way to promote the flow of ink easily through the ball point. i know this. i believe it. yet i don't change. when i pick up a pen to write with, i want to be able to write immediately instead of scribbling on a scrap piece of paper to get the ink flowing. and let's be honest...do we always have a scrap piece of paper to scribble on?

i am sitting here waiting to deliver a report. i was supposed to deliver it to the client by 2pm. i'm still waiting for the text from another office.

basically, i'm bored.

i hate that i'm bored. i hate that i have so much stuff to do but i can't do it because at any minute i'll have to leave...and it will most likely be right smack dab in the middle of an intense train of thought. er...did i say can't? i meant "don't want to". hehe.

i'm a bit light headed. i don't know if it's from all the campfire smoke (lots and LOTS) from the weekend or from not showering or changing my clothes for three days or from being sick for hanging out outside when it's 35 degrees....or maybe it's just a sign that i should go home and sleep. sleeeeeep. yeah! i didn't sleep too well last night. i woke up at 5am for no reason. no reason! perhaps i am coming down with something. maybe....laziness?? i feel that i am the least motivated of all my friends.

....aaannd i gotta go deliver the report. ha. i knew it!!! thank goodness for blogging and e-ddt to make the time go by....

more later.

T.G.I.F.

i suck.

my week is officially not going well.

went to chicago today.

i went to chicago like i go to ann arbor for the day. in a car. but much farther.

let's never do this again.

i was a complete dumbhead today on many levels. but we're over it.

on top of that, my leg is telling me that it will rain soon.

my tummy hurts. ate too much good food for chrissy's bday dinner at bucas. went to coldstone after. it's overratted and i was full, yet i ate. ughhhh....

anyway.

this weekend i was finally emerged back into "the swing of things"...actually hung out with someone that wasn't eric. (and i think i'm finally over my jet lag.) i'm still reeling from the wedding. i'm about as good as this one is at vocabulary, and to say that it was the most unbelievable time would be like saying God is smart.


.i'm so touched that a million peope who we love dearly came from so far away to be with us on that day.

.i loved that wherever i looked in the church and in the reception hall i saw a face of someone that i was so incredibly happy to see.

.i loved that i could jump from one end of the dance floor to the other and jam with every single person on the way from point A to point B.

.i loved that we all sang and jumped and danced our brains out to songs that some people would be ashamed of knowing every word to...(ahem..."ooh baby do you know what that's worth").

.i loved that not one of us hesitated when eric demanded that we all do the running man like our lives depended on it.

.i loved that vibe had a mini jam session in the entry way just like the good old days.

.i loved that love was just ridiculously oozing out of every person there. if i didn't kiss you and tell you i loved you at the reception, i must have missed you and i owe you a kiss and this is me telling you that i love you. =)

.i loved that 50 of you organized from all over the country to bring back old old old skool to brand brand new dances just for us to remember and celebrate what brought us together as a family.

.i love all the pictures and posts and emails and e-ddt going on. *high five for the internet* (two times...)


eric and i were sitting in the airport the day after the wedding going "i can't believe that just happened to us." seriously...i have never felt so much emotion and love and joy than on that day. the whole day. i'm sure there were things that went wrong...and i'm sure that the best wedding party ever to be a wedding party kept all that secret from us...but i was floating. i still am. i might never come down.

what really amazes me is that with all the love we felt that day and still feel today, that that is not even a glimpse of what God has for us. and it really is He who made that day so amazing. it would not have been anything close to what it was if not for Him. the biggest group hug in the world...my heart was overflowing and overflowing at the point. ("i can only imagine....")

*sigh*

i love you guys so much. =)

HAPPY
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY,
DINNER
BUDDY!!!!!

aaaannd...

we're back.

did these past two weeks really just happen?

...more to come.

t minus 5 days 23 hours and 59 minutes til the big day...

i wonder why they say "t minus".

when i did plays in high school we called the week of the show "hell week", which is kind of what this kind of reminds me of....scrambling to get everything together so it's just so, but not so much hell...maybe we should rename it "carrrraaaazzzy week". ha. that was dumb.

i've cried a lot...mostly because i'm gonna miss my family sooo soo much. but, really, i'm not gonna miss them like i'm moving to alaska or something (because i'm moving a mile away)...deep down i know it's because they mean more to me than they know. well...they know now. it's very strange to think that when i wake up on christmas, my brother won't be jumping on my bed yelling "time to open the presents!!!" and my mom yelling at us every sunday morning before church "are you up?" and then hauling ass so we won't hear the dreaded car horn. anyway...the important thing is to get all that crying stuff out of the way so i can focus on marrying the man i love so much.

usually the times when i'm crying, i'm not really crying for me. my mom always tells me that i get too emotionally invested in other people's feelings. i'll cry for you and with you if you're sad. i'll be truly angry and upset with you if you're angry and upset. i'll even hunt whoever got you that mad down and beat them up. i will jump up and down and smile with you when you're happy. basically, i'm super empathetic. but you know what? i can't help it. i just love everyone too much!

okay, i should have posted this yesterday, but i "stayed home sick" so i didn't really jump on a computer yesterday for longer than 5 minutes..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUNSO!!!!

watch out, everyone...she's fully legal. she's buying alcohol and everything with her very own i.d. and for the record, eric met her when she was 12. ahahahahahahahaahaha....

i have been spoiled.

you really can't beat front row courtside tickets to any game, much less the wnba finals. it's all about cheering and screaming and the players and refs and them actually hearing you. so. much. fun.

too much stuff is going on in my head. i'm starting to get that overwhelming feeling of having too much to do. i thrived in that feeling all through college (and high school and middle school). i have since learned to relax and take time to just hang out with people. i think what i like most about not being super busy is not having to mentally check things off in my head and think about what's next and what do i have to do to be ready for the next thing...and instead i get to focus on my family or my friends and what's going on with them and if they're happy or sad or in between.

in a nutshell...these last few months have made me really evaluate where i am with my family and God and myself....and i've been preparing myself to leave my extremely wonderful family to start a life with an equally (if not more) wonderful man. and a part of doing that is really cherishing the moments that i am at home and i can spend time with my family....it gets hard when i'm always thinking about that phone call i forgot to make and the thing i was supposed to do a week ago and when i was gonna find time to pack or do laundry. so i guess i'm really thankful that i didn't schedule myself to death after graduation the way i did in college. eric used to ask me what i wanted to do with myself after graduation....what am i passionate about? what do you want to do that's not work? and all i could answer was that i really felt God calling me to spend time with my family, spend time with my friends..really be there for them the way a good friend should. it felt silly at the time, because being that not busy felt lazy to me. who knew that He was getting me ready for the big change that will happen in two weeks.

TWO WEEKS!!!!

i am very excited. wheeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is kind of unbelievable, so it must be recorded.

it's 6:55am and i've been at work for 15 minutes.

i opened my email to see this message (regarding idaho):

did you already order the historical/database stuff for this and get your plane ticket?

don't ask yet why i'm asking. it will just piss you off.

needless to say, i will not be very upset if i don't have to go.

i went to einstein's this morning and saw that they had pumpkin spice muffins out already. ?!!?!! it's a seasonal item, they say. i hate it when marketing forces the seasons to change when they most definitely have not. people! just take a look at the calendars. on september 23rd it clearly states "autumn begins". can we please stop and bask in summer before we get all grumpy when the weather turns gray? and will launch please please put summertime sounds back on the station list?

so i'm off to idaho. not just yet..on monday. it's very strange to say that i am going to idaho.

i am going to idaho.

eric asked me yesterday to name two cities in idaho. "uhh..boise....and...." *nothing* (we came up with another ridiculous name, but it's too ridiculous to put in writing because it's THAT fake.)

so now i know two more cities. the one i'm flying into and the one i'm visiting. ha.

i kind of wish that it was december and my snowboarding buddies could come with...cuz i'm going to the corner of idaho that touches wyoming, colorado and utah. i almost flew into utah to get a cheaper flight. but who wants to drive three hours once you get off a 5 hour flight? well...i guess i would if it meant that work was paying for me to fly and stay and eat out there with a car and my site inspection just so happened to land on a thursday and i couldn't get a flight out til sunday and my snowboarding gear just happened to end up in my luggage. =P tangent. my whole morning has been wasted finding flights to pocattello airport. must eat.

happy wednesday! (it feels like a monday. how cool is that?)

for the record, the summertime sounds station on launch is the best. if you want to bob your head as you im me (ahem, "work"), you should take a listen....

have you ever tried dusting off your phone and your stapler and your tape dispenser with tape? it's highly effective.

yes. work is that interesting today.

i rolled into my office parking lot 20 minutes ago...and i totally fell asleep for 20 minutes before i got out of the car. i've been really sleepy on my way to work lately. it's time to consider a closer place of work.

i ate too much.

don't you hate when you eat yourself stupid? i think i'm still full from yesterday....

[at the movies]: wanna get concessions? i have $5 off. "okay."
[after the movie]: wanna go to b-dubs? it's 30 cent tuesday. "okay."
[after dinner]: wanna go to coldstone and get super awesome ice cream? *pause* "okay."

i'm so stupid! although there isn't a single item that i can eat myself stupid with. (well except for oreos, but that's only because when you dunk the oreo in milk you have to put the whole thing in your mouth or else the cookie will fall apart. thank goodness for the orDIPeo.) my brother eats a lot of ice cream. A LOT. he can eat more ice cream than anyone i know. it's actually pretty gross. hehe. (love you ny!) eric will eat dessert no matter what (especially if cookies are involved). in fact, if given the opportunity, he would probably eat dessert first and last. kimmie is a fan of dip-type foods. crackers and spinach dip, apples and caramel dip, chips and salsa....i think she would like pita bread and hummus if she ever tried it.

do you think that if i drink a lot of water i'll feel better? (the logic lies in the dilution factor. hmm...)

"see? this is what happens when you always wait until the last minute to get gas."

most memorable quote of the 'BLACKOUT OF 2003' by my mom. mmm. thanks, mom. really. can you please pick a worse time to begin a mini lecture?. gridlock. 90 degrees and humid. no gas, therefore no a/c. i'm just trying to get home! it was amazing that i even got through on the phone. but that's my mom. super practical and conservative with the gas tank. she's one of those that thinks she has no gas when the needle dips below the 1/2-full mark. 1/2 tank?!! that's like to ann arbor and back with gas to spare! anyway...i can laugh about it with her now. i know those mini lectures come from her wanting us to learn from our mistakes...and if we learn from that mistake then we can save her the worry next time. i love her to death.

i wonder what it must be like for her to have to bear the sole parental burden of worrying about us three kids for these last 6 years. today marks my dad's 6 year death anniversary. i remember when he got sick and when he got better and then sick again and then God finally took his pain away forever and left me sad and angry and confused. and then there was healing. and now it's today. six years later. i hardly mention him partly because it's weird to have people not know what to say besides "i'm sorry" (when there really isn't anything to say) and also because if you get me at a fragile moment, i'll probably start crying. i used to have to leave the room during the father/daughter dance at weddings because i would get so so sad knowing that my daddy wouldn't be at my wedding to dance with me. but no tears! daddy's in a Better Place (or on his way there, i'm still praying) and i have the most wonderful family ever. plus my mom rocks on the dance floor. i'll dance with her instead. =D

conclusion of the morning: more trucks on the freeway = more traffic. much more.

woohoo!! gary and mads have the most precious baby girl. happy birthday lucia!

we're sooo spoiling that little girl.

i am wearing new pants. =D

i haven't gotten new clothes for fun in a long time. it's actually kind of nice to not really really need (actual meaning: want) to have the latest and greatest in clothes...or to constantly buy new clothes (constantly=once a month or more frequently). it's nice to have that desire to be replaced by "i could either get these really cool shoes that i may or may not wear a lot or have a nice dinner with eric" or "i could get this awesome bag or not get it so we have money to go to mammoth in december". life's so different when your money isn't just your money. there's really no room for unbudgeted selfishness. the only thing that's a little funny is that since you share money, when you get each other gifts...the gift is technically from the other person, but then is it really because you kind of half paid for it? and if you're spending one person's income and saving the other person's, then you didnt' even half pay for it if you're the one whose money is being saved. heehee.

so back to my new pants...i love them. that's it. i'm basically excited about new clothes and wanted to share. that stuff about sharing money was just a tangent.

so not to keep talking about this site....the wooded one...i know you're probably all hating it as much as me....so the woods. four weeks going on five. it's been hot. i have a weird tan line. i've been soaked in bug spray. it has sucked. today was the last day of it, and lo and behold on our way back to the site after lunch we get a phone call:

"um, when you guys get this message you need to come back to the office because the job has been cancelled."

WTH?!!!! i'm not really mad (although the last few weeks have been pretty torturous)....because despite the woods and stuff it has been a really good site. some really good stories...lots of deaths and suicides and psychos...cool stuff like electroshock bathtubs and labotomy observation rooms....met some interesting characters and learned a lot of stuff for work. i suppose the best part is that i don't have to write up the monster report. although it might suck when the developer calls us in two months saying the project is back on and can you get us that report and remember all that stuff from 3 months ago? but we won't worry about that right now.

i'm a little bit giddy. this news has created a buzz around the company, and i've also just consumed a very large caramel frappaccino. i should work. i've been completely useless today. (hmm..that must be the coffee talking.....)

it has gotten to the point that when i drive and i see wooded areas i think "wow, that would be really crappy to walk through." it's bad when i close my eyes and i see thickets and branches and vines and prickers. and the thought "they don't pay me enough to do this" goes through my head. a few realizations:

a) the project manage and developer officially suck for making us walk 5 hours a day through the bush for the last 4 weeks.
b) walking 5 hours a day through the bush for 4 weeks causes my leg to ache and ache and ache, thus making me miss our last soccer game (arghh...)
c) bone injuries ache more when it's going to rain or is raining
d) off! with deet is great bug spray
e) although d)=true, there is nothing that will keep icky deer flies from attacking you constantly.

but no worries! the light is visible at the end of the tunnel.....one more day to endure, and hopefully i will never have to return. =D

p.s. 54 days and counting...

hahahaahahah...working from home! la la la la la!

apparently my last entry made me sound like i was in a deep upsetting state. not so. there wasn't really much of a need to feel better as there was a need to eat chocolate. hehe. i'm not sure that made sense. but it's good to shed a couple tears now and then, no? i mean, if you never cried just because people don't usually cry, what would happen when you finally did cry? all emotions and pent up "tough guy/girl" tears will just all cascade into an avalanche of deep hiccuping sobs, a stuffy nose, and an inability to speak until said hicupping sobs subside. it's kind of nice to be able to cry with someone. not that both people will be crying....but that you can freely shed tears and the other person will just understand that it's necessary to cry and won't fall all over the place trying to comfort you because it's not really needed. (that was a really bad run-on sentence. i seem to speak in those quite often.)

(what's with this template changing all the time???)

it's an emotional day. the last time it was this bad, i cried during space camp when they made it back to earth. don't laugh. it's can cause a tear or two. (or not...i'm sure you're laughing anyway.) i'm not sure guys quite appreciate the absence of moodiness caused by hormonal imbalance. it's a real thing. on a somewhat related sidenote....i remember g once putting menstrual cramps into perspective for guys: it's like someone kicking you in the nuts as hard as possible at any given time of any given day once a month. although i don't think the pain is quite the same, a guy could definitely relate.

oh, to not have the scent of bug spray mixed with sweat and the outside exuding from me....

i cannot stress enough how much i despise walking through woods.

YO.

check this out.

HOTNESS.

so cute i might puke. and is that my brother blogging?.....watch out.

people might say this all the time, but i think it's really true when i say that i have the greatest greatest friends in all the world. eric and i have the most beatiful and fun and caring and helpful bridal party EVER. ever ever ever ever ever. 10 weeks and counting....

my feet hurt. i feel like i did dance marathon...without the 30 hours of non-sleep.

there are a lot of words that i don't know. like when some of you blog, i have to look up a lot of words. my sister once used fortuitous in a blog. i don't think i could ever know the definition of that word cold enough to even use it in a sentence. perhaps i should start reading more than harry potter.....i thought i was in a book club.......

who's a star in their car?

you know what i'm talking about: singing your brains out with full out emotion at the top of your voice...and as far as you're concerned you ARE the STAR of the road/city/whatever you're in. why don't we all have karaoke cd's in our cars? (remember when cassette singles always had an instrumental version on side B?)

finished harry potter this weekend....stayed up til 6:30am on saturday to do it. man..i just got so emotionally invested in thse books that i needed to keep reading so that i wouldn't be upset the next day. whew. but all done. =D what a good book...and it's about time, too....i had that book on hold at the waldenbooks in briarwood since my senior year at umich...

AT LAST.

it's friday.

when i worked at pd we used to work longer on monday-thursday so we could leave at 11 on friday mornings. i thought that was nice...cuz it was only an extra hour that we had to work the rest of the week, and can i see hands from all those who work that extra hour anyway? i don't know why i'm talking about this, being that i am writing this from my dining room table. telecommuting is a wonderful thing. i want to thank the email and internet inventors for making this possible. although i don't think i could work from home everyday. i think i would go crazy with no other faces around...i'm not exactly close friends with people from work, but it's nice to have outside human interaction on a semi-intellectual/professional level. it adds layers to life. breaks up the monotony. why is it that we need variety? i'll leave it at that cuz i feel ramblings surging....

funny-looking word of the day:

laughter

laughter laughter laughter laughter. it starts to look wrong when you keep typing it.

will people PLEASE blog? i'm getting bored at work....

there's a bruise on my wrist (surprise surprise)...right where my wrist rests to type. i got it while trying to kill this moth that had found it's way into my house. i'm not gonna front...i HATE bugs. HATE. ants, i can handle if they aren't by the hundreds....flies, i'm not so scared of, they're just annoying. almost everything else...YUCK. ew. scary. yes, scary. i know there's probably nothing to be scared of, but EW. basically, i'm a bug killer...but not a very good one. and my oh so loving fiance just likes to watch me react (or freak out). had he just killed the moth FOR me (and for the record, he was closer), i would not be bruised. let's start a list -- reason #1 why winter gets two thumbs up: no bugs.

can we talk about how i got to work 40 minutes later than i should have because gawkers caused an 8 mile back up on 3 freeways today?

...and we have, so i'm done.

they really do melt in your mouth, m&ms. it's the first time i really noticed as i eat a bag of m&ms contemplating what would happen if i saved all my purple m&ms from many bags so that i'd have enough to make a whole bag of purple m&ms, thus winning 100 million yen. but alas...too easy. they numbered the bags. they'd know if i was a fraud. i do enjoy the purple color, though. fun food. i'm glad it's just food coloring cuz how gross would grape chocolate be?

the closest i've ever come to a cow was at a petting farm. but they're isolated and in a fence, so i know they won't hurt me. so today i was doing a site inspection (or field mission as jon would say) at this farm. the owner only used about an acre of this 50-acre property. the rest was grass. but as a responsible professional, it was my duty to walk the ENTIRE site. uck. at least it's nice out, although i don't appreciate the odor of cow dung.

how far to the edge of the property line? i ask..
see the cows? there's a fence there. do you see it? the owner says..
yes, i see the fence between me and the cows, keeping the cows on the other side. that's it?
yes. that far. you good? i go.

the owner only used about an acre of the site, which was fenced off and had chained gates. so i'm walking around all this vacant grassy land by myself and i notice the cows are moving...not just moving...moving towards where i am....i wonder how they hopped the fence and realized that the fenceposts were there, not so much the fence itself. CRAP. the cows are now RUNNING to where i am. mild panic. i don't like cows. they smell. and can they trample me? and i'm outside the safety fence (i had to climb over the fence). dammit. flash to me one minute later calling eric on my cell phone because i just totally ran from some cows and hopped a fence to safety.

i called the owner a couple hours later and asked if the cows were his. 'just beware of the bull, that's the only one you need to worry about.' gee, thanks. you'd think i'd get some kind of advanced notice. at least pay me more if i'm gonna have to run from stinky cows. needless to say, i didn't finish and i'm going back tomorrow with a truck.

pay attention. not all the time. but for the bigger stuff. when you remember the basic gist of things...people feel important. when you remember the details...whoa...people feel super important. it drives me NUTS when people that SHOULD know things don't because they weren't listening when your mouth was moving. the pm for my new project just walked in saying "i see you got in touch with your site contact." did i not go up to you exactly 6 days ago to tell you that 1) i HAD touched base with the site contact and 2) i had set up the site inspections and told you the dates????? bah..i'm just complaining because he's not much of a pm (that's putting it nicely) and never ever ever knows what's going on with his projects. silly me, what was i expecting? and by now i'm over it and realize that this blog is a little bit stupid. but it's monday. not that it being monday should be an excuse. but it's a good excuse for a lot of things, no?

whew. blogger scared me for a minute. it's baaacckk!!!! =D

this sucks. i just lost all my entries. WTH!!!

whoa. new template. thought i was in the wrong place for a minute.

the new intern just called one of the project managers mr. reed. it's just funny to hear someone address a superior by "mr." after high school.....we didn't even address our professors that way....

so i'm clumsy. just a little. i tend to spill stuff and trip on stuff...i bruise easily so there's plenty of evidence. i only bring this up because i managed to spill water on my lap today at my lunch meeting. opening a bottle of water...and wouldn't ya know? all of a sudden it's all over my lap. dangit. i used to deny that i was clumsy. i think used to equate it with carelessness. i'm definitely not careless. i'm definitely clumsy. this is me embracing it. perhaps putting it out there will end this streak of clumsiness...

how did it get to be june so fast?

happy birthday, chrislum!!

so my last blog was a lie. it obviously worked because....tada!! my initial intention was to audio blog the song that g, eric, and nate were singing at michelle's wedding. i completely forgot in the middle of the wedding, so karaoke it is! enjoy even if you can't understand a word....

audblog audio post

my audio blog didn't work.

boo.

let's take a moment to remember the fun time at which the audio blog took place. $25 all you can drink/all you can sing. yes. take a long moment....

whoa. manager not in today. seriously thinking about my presence at this desk.

new york in two days. people getting married in four.

let the madness begin...

they forgot the dressing on my greek salad. and i didn't even order a greek salad, i ordered the classic cafe salad. two thumbs down. it's interesting, eating a salad with no dressing on it. in fact, i can't even think of it as a salad.

hi, i'm eating lettuce and red onions and feta cheese garnished with tomato wedeges and a pepper.

it's a rare day where i have nothing to do, which ends up working out beautifully since i can't access my computer or my email on any other computer and the i/s group is in canada, which happens to be on holiday today. oh. and someone stole my mouse. who does that? i'm not really complaining since i can't use my computer anyway. (i'm on my old suuuuppper sloooooooow pc.) it's definitely a blah day. pistons didn't win. boo. no work to do. boo? yay? i can't decide. i'm gonna go back to eating my lettuce.

so i'm looking through my planner....checking due dates for reports and available dates for florist visiting and bridal registering days and i see next week....michelle's getting married NEXT WEEK!!! (not to mention i'll be seeing a bunch of you crazy cats all in one place for the first time in a while.) NEXT WEEK!!!! where did the time go??? alvin received a bit of my freaked-outedness, so i'm a bit subdued now. so much to do. need to practice. must make lists. and tables. everything makes more sense in tables. i can't wait to see everyone!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

two things:

1) the pistons are GREAT.

2) thundersticks are GREAT and pure genius (rhymes with....).

working til death...not about it....

all about going to the pistons game tomorrow....there's a light at the end of the tunnel....

are there people that you're just straight up not nice to? man...there's this guy at work who i can't seem to tolerate because he tends to always complain and push work off on other people (e.g. ME). i also happen to think that he's an idiot for how much so-called experience he has. did i mention the whiny voice and the brown nosing? ugh. i'm really just not nice to him at all. i need help. i'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation for his behavior. i just need believe that there is.

there is something about having hair covering my eye or part of my eye that keeps me from being able to concentrate. it's like everything is blurry because hair is touching the vicinity of my eye. push it away and *poof* immediate clarity. but this piece of hair keeps annoyingly falling in front of my right eye. that combined with the sun shining outside gives me a.d.d. or is it a.d.h.d.? i think they recently added the h. or maybe not so recently. tangent. anyway. the bottom line is that my manager is going to miami for the rest of the week (and wouldn't ya know...she's staying at the roney) and i can't concentrate. what to do what to do....

word of the day: ne·far·i·ous

infamous by way of being extremely wicked.

*someone actually used this in a sentence to me today. watch out.

i'm sooo outta here.

happy Easter!!!!

my computer is turned so that whoever's passing by can't see my screen...and when they see me intently typing or reading blogs, it'll look like i'm working really hard and they won't bug me. the worst is when someone comes into the cube to talk......and then all your im's that you minimized (cuz no one's responded for the last half hour) all of a sudden start blinking like crazy...like they're trying to give you away! i wonder if they even know what those blinking lights mean on the bottom of my screen...

this is the stuff i think about. nothing heavy. nothing super philosophical (or philosophical period). i wonder why people insist on making their headlights that annoying bright white when scientists and engineers that have spent years doing ergonomic studies have deemed yellow-white to be the most driver-friendly headlight color. i wonder about the people at my work who seem to only have a good time drinking beer and if they have some deeper side that fulfills them on a mental level. i wonder when my doctor will call me back to tell me if my leg is fractured. i think about the best way to get to bible study by using my car as little as possible. do i go home and get a ride with eric? do i drive to ann arbor and get a ride with someone there? i read the bottom of my snapple caps and wonder why only male turkeys gobble and why elephants don't jump. maybe this is why my vocabulary is so limited. i don't think about super complex things and therefore don't require large words with more than two syllables to express my thoughts.

anyway...back to work.

i'm getting a headache from not working. i can only hope for new blog entries for so long. why won't anyone blog for me?

i would also like to add that exactly one week ago there was half a foot of snow on the ground and today there is a high of 74. thank you.

fun fact of the day:

only male turkeys can gobble.

for the amount of work that i'm getting done today, i think it would have been better if i had stayed home.

i just want to say that the sun is out.

SMILES FOR EVERYONE!!

* =) * =) * =) * =) * =) * =) *=) * =) *

for the record, it's freezing outside and there's 4 inches of snow on the ground.

oh, and today's APRIL 7. officially 18 days into spring. all that talk about april showers is bunk. try ice storm or blizzard. blechh.

8:20am and i've already been up for three and a half hours. hong must be in town! =)

came in late. read blogs for the last two hours. again with the uselessness. trying to give up pop. lack of caffeine is not good for me. wonder what it's like to be addicted to hard-core drugs. glad i'm not. it's really hard to drink 64 oz. of water a day.

my head is full and my heart is a bit saddened. thank You for the crosses You send down for us to bear and become closer to You.

someone keeps stealing my box of tissue. now i don't mind if you use my tissue, but do you really have to take the whole box? and i don't even care that you take the whole box. just replace it. thanks.

i should leave a note:

get your own. there's a whole bunch in the utility closet. get your own.

fun fact of the day from the cap to my peach iced tea snapple:

Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.

i feel that people need to blog more. occupy my time, people! ;D

i'm officially useless today. and my head hurts. so i'm gonna go home.

bye bye. =)

hmmm....i wonder why my last entry didn't publish.

but you know what? WHO CARES?!!

i just ran (well, ran/walked) to eric's place. YES, it's true. i can mobilize voluntarily by foot for distances greater than the length of the mall for reasons other than shopping and bingo. it's SOOO nice out!! =) it's supposed to be in the fifties all week. i caught myself thinking, ooh...that's a bit chilly. what am i, crazy????? it's like i'm a wimpy californian or something. ;D heehee....TOTALLY joking. i miss my california buddies. next time we get together we need to go somewhere for longer so we can get some proper sleep. we ain't in college any more....

*clap*clap*....

i would like to say that everyone that made fun of george for wanting to play bingo needs to seriously hook it up with a bingo marker and some old ladies. it's a serious game. it would have been even more fun if you and you and you and you and you and you and you (that would be lynn and jeff who definitely need to get their blog on...someone show me the tag to do pop-ups) were there. and all this time we thought bellagio was where it's at....heheehhe...

oh and i have to say that the system works. nerve-wrecking, but works.

this is where i link jon who's the only other person that blogged about vegas.

i'm definitely eating yogurt with a fork right now. it's a new experience. why is the fruit on the bottom kind the best yogurt? i favor it. and as i mixed up my peach yogurt with my fork it occurred to me that i can achieve the same thing for probably much cheaper if i just bought a big ol' tub of plain yogurt and canned peaches.

fun fact of the day: the enzymes in yogurt break down the "smelly" molecule in your farts. might wanna feed it to your car, mrfilipno.....;D

let's talk about being unfocused:

I am extremely unfocused. go take this report to our client in troy, they tell me....you mean troy-that's-10 minutes-from-my-house-troy? okay. might as well just go home and "work from home". *sigh* bye bye productivity. i'm beginning to see that the craziness that i was expecting to ensue might be way greater than my initial guess. jenny told me i should get a dress already...a dress??!! i say...but i gave up shopping for lent. i need to make spreadsheets. lots of them. and lists. lists to cross things off of....why do i feel more accomplished if i can cross off a task on a list? that's one thing my pda is missing. all you can do is check off a box. no satisfaction of running a line through the entire task. anyway...i should get back to "working from home." there's a pile of laundry on the floor that's been waiting a half hour for me to fold it.....

This is...

I used to ask God why love had to hurt so much,
I used to ask the Lord to take away my pain,
I used to wonder if our love was pure enough,
for us to make it through the darkness and the rain.

There are so many answers to questions that I seek,
But the truth is all that sets this poor heart free,

This is my song, this is my soul,
This is my choice to give and take,
This is my heart, this is my life,
This is the magic that He makes,
This is me, faithfully, praying we were meant to be,
I believe we can be happy together.

and now 8 years have passed since that first moment's kiss,
you'll never know how much your love has changed me,
and now I see that my whole life has led to this,
He said that two shall become one reality

I believe that the sun can shine a little brighter every day,
I believe that our love can grow much stronger,
I believe that the walls around my heart have gone away,
I believe I can't hold back any longer,
I believe....

This is our song, this is our soul,
This is our choice to give and take,
This is our heart, this is our life,
This is our magic that He makes,
This is me, on one knee,
asking you to be my Queen,
I believe we can be happy together.

....03.07.03....

i think it's fun when people say bye-bye. not b'bye. or buh-bye. when they actually make the extra effort to pronounce the first "y". it's endearing. heehee!!

happy friday!!

i'm giving up shopping for lent. i already feel the effects. i'm thinking of all the stuff i've been wanting to buy and i want to buy it RIGHT NOW.

happy paczki day!!!!!

everyone should eat a paczki (say it: poonch'-kee) today. =D go to your grocery store. they should have it in the bakery. or find a polish bakery. they'll have the best ones. yum!!!!

random fun fact of the day: did you know that eggs and fat used to be prohibited during lent? so they would use up all the eggs and butter for making pazckis (which are way fattening, so eat accordingly) the day before ash wednesday and that would also explain the eggs at easter.....

chocolate cake sounds really good right now. mmm.....

i'm soooooo sleeeeeeeepy. need nap. must sleep. don't think i can snowboard today. all i think is sleep. sleep looks funny after you type it a lot. sleep. sleep. sleep. hehe...

i am absolutely terrible at recording my voicemail greeting. ugh. i have to change it every time i'm not in the office which has been daily lately, so when i get back to the office i have to change it back to say i'm IN the office and i ALWAYS MESS UP. and it's lovely that we sit in cubes so everyone can enjoy hearing me mess up and record over and over again. by the third re-do, i'm pretty embarrassed. =P

and i'm really irritable right now. i just deleted a bunch of ranting because i need to be in a better mood when i see eric tonight. everyone say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him!!!

now everyone say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to J!!!

it's official. this is the last season of buffy. =O!!! can'tmissanyepisodesmusttapetherestoftheseason.

for my die-hard buffy fans in the detroit area: 4pm saturday march 8. that's the next one. and it's new. and it's not on next tuesday cuz you're gonna be watching me and eric and chrissy and conehead at the pistons game. yes you are. =)

so my two full months of slacking are about to end....

now.

say hi to my away message.

it DUMPED snow today. oh yes. it did. eric and i drove through inches and inches and inches of snow from east lansing while complete PSYCHOS whizzed by us at speeds certain to bring some unfortunate yet completely (okay, maybe not completely, but definitely somewhat) preventable doom. no wonder why you find so many people in ditches when it snows. they're STUPID. okay, not all of them. of course road conditions make spin outs inevitable BUT!! there are precautionary measures that can be taken, aka DRIVING CAREFULLY and at speeds where you actually have control of your car. it scared me how many people were driving so fast....what if they're need to speed along in the snow ends up being the reason that someone DIES? it's too much of a chance for 15 mph faster to your destination. senseless. stupid. dumb dumb dumb. so drive safe, please. thanks.

i have to go to milwaukee on monday. what the heck is in milwaukee? someone? i feel that i know someone who lived in wisconsin....james? victor? someone in california, i feel. it's a half hour away from the slopes we visited when we went to visit porta...but i don't trust airport people with my snowboard. hmm. they make beer there, yes? except i don't drink beer normally. i hate going to places where i don't know people. i like it when people can just take me to places to eat and shop. no decisiveness necessary. i think i would have eaten mcdonald's twice in one day if ac didn't take me to old spaghetti factory in oakland. that would have been really gross to eat mcdonald's twice in one day. maybe i'll just look up places around milwaukee for the rest of the afternoon.....since, you know, i've been oh so productive this morning accomplishing absolutely nothing. =P i hate having to bill time. you can only do creative timesheets for so long before you have to start showing something for it....

i totally forgot. i don't have a links thingy anymore so i can't add....but AC has a blog. =D george and i got him to start using the one he started a while back. go see him.

today is one of those days where i am just really fast at peeling an orange. i tried to get the entire peel off in one piece like conehead and chrissy, but couldn't...but i was still fast. and i managed to get the stem part thingy out while still attached to the peel so it was easier to open the orange. and can someone explain the mini orange inside? am i supposed to eat that?

yOOOOO!

the countdown begins....vegas in ONE month exactly.

happy valentines day all!!!

i've never flown southwest before. i always thought of it as a substandard airline. (i don't know why...i have no basis for that conclusion.) but!! did you know that they have 6 sets of rows facing each other, like on a train? wouldn't that be the best if you're traveling with 5 of your friends? perhaps i speak too soon....because on the way from nashville pretty much the whole plane got off except for me and 6 other people and only 25 more people came on to continue on to oakland. ??!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!! *arm pump* we each had two whole rows each!!! how great is that on a long flight? of course, that's rare and will probably never ever happen to me again and for all i know every single subsequent southwest flight i take will be late or horribly crowded or will lose my luggage. but let's not think about that and think about how i got to sleep laying down all the way to california. makes up for the smelly guy that sat at the end of my row on the way to nashville and the guy that kept ripping farts after he drank 4 beers and ate a turkey sandwich. GROSS!!....why do i always get stuck next to stinky people?

are you neurotic? sometimes i feel like i'm neurotic cuz i tend to double and triple check things are done....but then i don't know if i'm neurotic or straight up memento. it starts with waking up. i NEVER hear my alarm. ever. and lately i've been setting four. yes. 4. all different. and yet..i wake up an hour and a half after the last alarm, never having heard it and, sure enough, all alarms have been manually turned off. and locking my car door. i don't ever remember doing it, but i always have to unlock it when i go to leave. everytime i step into a building: "did i lock my doors?" huh. maybe it's more second nature than forgetfulness. if it stopped with missed alarms and door locking, i wouldn't worry so much. but at work i forget if i've made phone calls or looked something up. (this is why post-its are your friend.) or maybe i just don't pay enough attention. when people give me information at work, it sticks for like a second...then woooooooo.....byebye. forgotten. again i go to ask the stupid question. and again..post-its are your friend. i don't know how i can remember all these stupid little facts and not remember stuff that just happened. seriously...it's like memento. is that a real disease??

i just walked by the men's bathroom and i heard people talking.

??!!??

do guys speak to each other while they pee? what is this? this is new to me. i would assume it would be pretty awkward....i know girls do it, but we have stalls...and anyway, i find it uncomfortable and awkward. you have to ask yourself...do you stop speaking when you start to pee or do you just go on talking like you aren't even doing it? hmm.

i'm doing everything possible to avoid work. for some reason it took me all morning to get my expense report finished. i'm exceptionally slow today. jet lagged, perhaps? yes. that will be my excuse. good news is that i'm finally gonna get reimbursed for that review course i took to pass the FE. woohoo!! it's funny how even though you spend your own money for work, you feel like you get extra free money in your paycheck when you get reimbursed. why is that?

oh and why do i want to be watching mscl right now? i think i need to purchase the dvd set.

weekend truths:

1. in nice weather it is essential to have a convertible.

2. the wings at hooters really are the reason why people go.

3. the first row behind first class is the best place to sit on the plane (unless you've got mad flow, then,of course, you'd be sitting in first class.)

4. working from home is the greatest concept ever created.

crazygoodtime in sd...you can look at jon's pictures and see...happy birthday nancy...thanks okb for sheltering me this week. =)

ahh..the daily afternoon debate: do i go home now that it's five? or do i stay because i woke up at 8:30 and didn't get in until 10?

it's like the daily morning debate: should i call in sick?

raise your hand if you're with me.

on one hand i feel really bad about coming in late and not working a whole day. but then i think about all those nights i was up til 3 am finishing reports because of impossible deadlines and i think, "ARE YOU CRAZY?! GO HOME!" my work ethic fluctuates so much, and i can't decide if i want to be a diligent little worker bee or just do enough to make people think i'm the diligent little worker bee and barely get by. but then is my "get by" work ethic more than what people expect and if so, should that be enough for me?

it was 20 degrees outside today. it's practically spring! =P

i, too, am too lazy to write about superbowl at the cheungs except to say that it was the usual time...lots of laughing, too much food.....i'll follow chrissy's lead and defer to the link.

oh baby. guess whose work is sending her to sd......

=D

okay, fung beat me to it. team chaos is so fun and she definitely scored her first goal today. conehead's next. she still has to make up for missing last week's game. and people! can i just say that pandemonium begins one week from sunday?!!! dang. you know you want to be in michigan, too. ;D makes you appreciate 20 degree weather.

what is wrong with me? i cannot get myself to do work. none! at all!! i don't wanna do it. nope. don't wanna. left work early friday, didn't come in yesterday, came in late today, ate lunch for two hours with martin...i'm definitely setting myself up to be a bad employee. and here i am blogging! ugh. and you know what? i'm still leaving at five. i'm sure it'll pass in about a minute when everyone decides to dump work on me at the same time. i suppose i'm taking advantage of the fact that i'm not that busy, since i complain so much about how busy i get. but i hate this feeling of not wanting to do anything except sleep and bum. i also hate the fact that i smell like subway because me and martin were there for so long. i don't know if food odors just stick to me more than most people or if i'm just really sensitive to food smells on my clothes. i am pretty paranoid about offending people in because i smell like food. that would be my mom and my aunt's fault for always cooking fish right before we went out with friends.

vegas will get me through this. 7 weeks til vegas. in the meantime...back to work.

just spent the entire day alternating between eating and falling asleep to dvds. we need more days like this.

soccer was way fun last night. battle scar on left quad bigger than my hand with imprints of the ball seams bruised into the middle of it....SO worth the fun. we tied, but we tied it good. p.s. we missed you yesterday, conehead!!!! next week you're scoring to make up for it. deal?

fung and i are doing math problems right now. it's fun. math is fun. we should all do math.

"mathematics is a game of patterns. find the pattern and you've got the key."

i learned that quote in my 7th grade algebra class.

i am a pack rat. but i've been getting better. a few years ago i finally threw away some notes from high school. and not like class notes. i'm talking notes like the ones your friends would leave for you in your locker of pass to you in class. four years of them. WHY would i keep those? and i used to keep all the flowers i got whenever i did a show and all the one's eric used to give me which got to be a lot, so i had to get rid of them. it was getting ridiculous...i didn't have room for my shoes in my closet. but i found all my old yearbooks from junior high and grade school. it's so funny the stuff that people write....let's reminisce:

"a.s.s."
"k.i.t."
"g.l.w.t.g."
"l.y.l.a.s."

remember when so much meaning dwelled in whether you wrote "luv" or "love" or drew a heart? especially if it was to/from someone of the opposite sex. heehee. in grade school it used to be a contest to see who could get the most autographs. so silly. it is interesting though when people write really nice things in your yearbook when you didn't even think they noticed you ever. and then when you read those really long messages from your "best" friend(s) at the time who you don't really talk to anymore, but at one point in time you shared everything with. it's funny how fast time moves you through relationships.

i think i'm getting all nostalgic because 1) me, eric, ryan, and lorie were all looking through my family's old pictures last weekend and 2) because it feels like life is moving forward to the next stage very very quickly and i'm either a) trying to get it to slow down by revisiting the past or b) recalling how i got to where i am now and all the madness that i went through to get here. probably both. plus it's fun (and funny) to look at old stuff. so it's not such a bad thing that i'm a pack rat.

at last.

things have slowed down at work.

doh. manager just walked in. i suck. it's very valuable to have your task bar hidden when speaking to multiple people on im. happy tuesday!

oh. and for the record. pandemonium is about to ensue. whoaaaa...watch out! ;D

there is a pen monster living in my cube. yes. pen monster. as in best friend of the sock monster that lives in the dryer.

man.

that's the fourth pen this week and tuesday's not even over.

soreness. the second time in two weeks. it hurts to laugh. and to move my legs. after long periods of sitting it's quite painful to move anything but my arms and head. soccer hurts when you're out of shape.

but it's the good hurt. and tomorrow morning i get to sleep in. WOOHOO!!!!

i hope everyone had a happy new years celebration. it was pretty low key in the heights. ha. we did way more than we've ever done in six days. i've seen conehad and chrissy every day since last thursday. ?!?!?!?! i guess james has to come out to michigan for eric, chrissy, conehead and i to all hang out together. dare i say i'm sick of seeing them? ha. no way!!! heehee...it's like it's the beginning of regular hanging out. heehee!!! i must say that gambling is WAY more fun in the comfort of someone's home. it really is embarrassing to have everyone hate you at the craps table cuz you have no skills at rolling dice. sheesh, ERIC. way to go. =P

i was totally in a commercial today. they were playing that just breathe song on the radio while i was zooming by people on the freeway today. i left it on for like 30 seconds before i couldn't stand the ridiculousness of me driving to that song. just silly.

i have been overcome with the idon'twanna syndrome.

again.

i want to just sit. and be. you can come be with me. we can do nothing.

no work. no christmas shopping. no laundry. no hole of a car to clean out. i want people to blog so i can quit reading the same entries day after day. i want someone to post on pink mic so i can marvel at their lyrical genius. i want peace on earth and good will towards men. but really, if you can just stop the world so i can be, that would be good too.

okay.

from my perspective, gambling is only fun if

a) you're winning
b) it's not your money you're losing or
c) it's completely fake money but you're friends are so cool and into it that it might as well BE real money.

i love being the house watching my friends scream for numbers and watching conehead sneakily (and smartly) pulling away when alvin presses the field while eric goes all in and porta loses his condo and martin hides chips in his pocket so he doesn't lose fake money and lynnchen promises she'll gamble in vegas in march. =)

been out of commission for the last couple days. my office manager knows that i'm on drugs and lots of pain so OF COURSE he has someone call me yesterday to bug me to do work that he failed to tell anyone he wanted it two days ago. wanted. not needed. see, it's not so much that i mind it when people call me and i'm sick. if they need work from me, then of course i'll do my best to get it to them. BUT! why bother me if you know that you won't need it until i'm gonna be back????? WHY?!! it amazes me that people get promoted to senior positions without any common sense. i mean, really....all ya gotta do is work that brain for a second (aka THINK) and people won't hate you. as much. ha.

anyway..drugs are definitely kicking in. painkillers = good. =) i wish they would invent de-swelling drugs. i look like i gained a hundred pounds. my manager told me today that i look like a completely different person. gee. thanks. just what i needed. while true, didn't need the reinforcement. =P

happy friday!!

note to self: snowboarding with skiers is not as fun as snowboarding with snowboarders.

p.s. you take forever to strap in.

p.p.s. make sure the next pair of bindings you buy won't snap when it's super duper cold.

why is it that when there's a HUGE flock of birds following each other around too close to your head or your vehicle that it's frightening? i think i was traumatized by all the birds on church street and washtenaw and in front of angell hall. the fear of getting pooped on is pretty big. and the grossness of walking on the bird poop is even worse. ewewewewew. (btw--did you know that excessive amounts of bird crap is potentially being considered as a biohazard in the environmental field?) anyway..i only bring it up because i felt like i was under attack today as i was leaving the office. when there's too many birds that they look like flies or they look like leaves on barren trees..it's a scary thing.

on monday the radio guy on wwj newsradio 950 had a message to everyone that was afraid to drive in the snow: STAY HOME.

i will echo his sentiments with a p.s.: just because there's snow on the grass doesn't mean you have to drive like there's snow on the road. thank you.

ever get an eyelash under your contact? how can something so little cause so much pain???

wow. i feel bitter. work is getting the better of me. i'm gonna work on that.

i've eaten myself stupid. why is it so hard to stop eating at holiday dinners? ugh. it's like your stomach stretches to preposterous proportions to accomodate the ridiculous amount of good food accessible to you on one single table. fooood coommmaaaa...

p.s. eric changed his blogger url again. www.humanamoeba.com

i smell!!! yuck!!!

waste oil and hazardous waste smell are clinging to my clothes and my hair and my shoes and my socks. i cannot escape it. and i was seriously only around it for less than 5 minutes. the same song that was playing when i got out of my car was still playing when i got back in. ugh. i hope my car doesn't perpetually smell of grossness. yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck!! someone hook me with the febreze...

p.s. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! have a safe and happy weekend. =D

for the record: lorie made the best spinach artichoke dip EVER on saturday. EVER. oh. and you know those commercials that ask what can you get for a dollar these days? ask any guy kickin' rhymes this past weekend....hehehe. and all for a dollar? practically priceless.

you know what's GREAT?

when they put up orange barrels and cones on the freeway so that only one freaking lane is open to back up traffic and not one person or vehicle is present to do any work.

grrrrrr. common sense isn't too much to ask for is it?

and i'm gonna quit complaining right.....

now.

i have a new laptop. and it's great. and it's fast. and it comes with a mouse without a roller ball. and a scroll!! don't take your mouse scrollers for granted!!!! and a burner. and administrator priveleges. =D this is a good thing.

hmm..still sleepy...still working....i wish i could blog about something else but that's all i know right now. nashville is a cool city....lots of friendly people and definitely colder than i wanted it to be. i thought it was supposed to be part of the south. south does not equate with cold. i need to be not at work. or with work people. i need to hang out with my friends. they inspire me. and make me think of not work. =) they definitely make me smile. chances are, if you're reading this, you make me smile. so rescue me, please. i have to work now.

is it just me or does it really suck to drive behind a car that's bigger than yours? perhaps that's why i like to drive so fast. all the cars are bigger.

p.s. i just caught myself up with the morning session of yesterday's eternal chat. steve killed me??!!! what the heck?!!

still.

working.

this sucks.

big boo and two thumbs down.

i feel that i should blog but i don't really have anything to blog about because, really, all i've been doing is working. what kind of a life is this? yuck. i stopped working long enough last night to catch up with an old friend who i haven't seen since before graduation and to meet up with dinner buddy at barnes and noble to "work" while she "studied". ha. we play the part really well. we pulled out our papers and everything. and then we talked for two hours. dangit.

another failed attempt to be productive.

it was funny, tho', because in the middle of one of the conversations we had, i stopped and thought to myself "what a great thing to blog about". and of course i don't remember so here you are reading about how i can't remember. to be completely random, it was really nice outside today. 60 degrees and sunny. and i've confirmed that people automatically drive infinitely more retarded when it's nice out. anyway...i think i'll go to bed now. i emailed myself the wrong stuff to for work, so now i have to go into the office early tomorrow. YUCK. like it isn't bad enough that i have to work on a saturday.

i am obsessed with hand lotion. i must have properly conditioned hands, otherwise...the day is bad. my world is wrong. i can't really function properly if my hands are dry. i can't think, can't concentrate...i wonder if this is an extension of my lip balm complex. this girl at my work introduced me to that new vaseline hand lotion...hand essentials or something. the one with the pink cap and the commercial with all the hands. it's GREAT. it even smells good, but isn't too overpowering like the lotions from bath and body works and victoria secret. still feminine, tho'..so it's not so good for a guy. the pink cap kinda ruins it for you anyway. ;D

why am i up?!! it is so late and i have to go to pilates at 9am!!! what the heck am i doing? look at what you've done to me, jon. must....sleep.....need....sleep.....sleep....good. =P

did you guys see the snow today? yes it was snow. flurries are snow. leave me alone. we going snowboarding harry potter weekend. (i hope i hope i hope.)

do you know ariel? you can visit him now. =)

happy halloween!!!

christmas decorations have been up at the department stores since last month. !!??!! last month we were still having 80 degree weather. and it's not even halloween (well, i gues now it's practically halloween) and there are christmas decorations!! what happened to fall? pretty leaves, cider mills, etc...it's like the stores are pressuring us to be in winter mindset. i don't like being rushed into winter. i rather enjoy the fall...it's so pretty and it's sweater weather!! that's the best. and when winter comes around it's cloudy a lot and that makes it harder to get out of bed. i heard denver got a foot of snow last night. that's how it should be. if it's gonna be cold, there better be snow. i've said that before. =\ flurries are expected tomorrow. if anything...maybe we'll get a decent snowboarding season this year. none of that 50 degree stuff.

isn't it funny how you can go on and on about the weather? haha. i mean, there must be a reason why people use it as the subject of small talke. or maybe that's just me.

8 hour exam = self-induced torture + smelly guy behind me exuding foul b.o. = unbearable torture. don't do it. never want to do it again but probably will have to due to stupidness. ever not figured out half the test and just filled in "c" all the way down? yeah. not me. but i did on saturday. i really did not care. i just wanted to leave. anyway..i have three statements, truths if you will, on my weekend revelations...

1. olivia is the cutest thing in the world. ridiculously cute. she should not be allowed.

2. my mom is a damn good cook.

3. i have the happiest jack-o-lantern in the world. =D

the hardest thing to do in the day is to get out of bed.

if it's 35 degrees outside and the chill is entering your bedroom through your non-efficient windows, the best thing EVER is jumping back into bed with the comforter where it's all warm and cozy. how can we possibly be expected to get out of bed when it's cold out? and again anticipating freezing when you get out of the shower. *shiver* mornings are not for me.

i love sleep.

i know why no one comments on lorie's page!!! they don't work. fix it, bro. i'm trying to leave random banter for my girl. ;)

they like me!! woohoo! my managers reviewed me and they think i'm cool...so yay!! =)

(doh. one of them just walked in on me typing this. bad. haha.)

stackhouse is returning to the palace tonight with michael jordan!! i soooo wish i could be there. =P boo on studying. study schmudy, right? argh. i really should pass this exam. i'll feel like such a retard if i don't. therefore, no game. pray for me, please. i need it. and if possible, please send all your math, science and engineering knowledge telepathically to me, too. that would be extremely helpful and time-saving. thank you. =)

it's still monday.

the longest day of my life.

work completely kicked my ass today and i don't know if it's because i just haven't slept in the last couple weeks. but my ass was completely kicked and continues to be kicked cuz i still have work to do (and that studying thing)....except now i'm at eric's and i can do my work in the company of beauty and the beast. =D i wonder when it is that you can joyfully bear your crosses. lose the bitterness. like invite all the bad and displeasing stuff into your life with a smile because you know that when it's all said and done, you will be a better person. so i'm gonna start trying.

dear work, bring it on.

it's really funny listening to other people's conversations when you work in cubicles. it's sooo not private and even the people with private offices talk loud enough for me to hear their conversations. clearly. everyone in my office tends to speak loudly. so everyone knows everyone else's business. i wonder if they listen to my conversations. i think people would think i'm a retard if they do...haha...especially if they catch me talking to bunso, which is pretty often cuz sometimes/oftentimes i get bored and call her cuz i miss that little girl like crazy. hehe. i hate it when i have to call people and be all professional cuz i think i sound pretty stupid...i generally can't speak. agh. i'm getting better at it, tho'...i'm beginning to get over the caring if the other person thinks you're a dumbass and just get the information you need no matter how much you stutter. =P then that feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach before you have to call someone isn't as noticeable.

there are gross coffee (????) stains on the bottled water dispenser. people!! it's a water dispenser. gross. what're coffee-like stains doing near the nozzle waiting to contaminate my water? isn't that the whole point of having bottled water?

i'm still recovering from the weekend. i woke up super late today and strolled into work around quarter to ten. then the boss asks me to take a report to gm troy for him (which is 6 miles from my house) but it needs to get there by four. so i leave at three. eleven twelve one two three. 5 hours minus twenty that i took for lunch. i'm such a slacker. i'm skipping class right now, too. what's wrong with me? i'm gonna go study my hardest so i can make up for my laziness...tho' my hardest still might not be enough...=\