a presumably uneventful week has become somewhat eventful. i think i received the most phone calls yesterday (monday) than i have in one day in a while...all dear friends checking on the status of baby xavier's arrival. he's still en womb...doesn't seem like he's in any hurry at all to get out.

then there was this morning. tuesday, 7/28, xavier's estimated due date. got a call from the senior executive director at my office letting me know that my position was being eliminated.

wow.

i expected this, but didn't expect this. laid off. the words echo differently when you say them out loud. it's not at all devastating news to me and eric. in fact, it's a much better situation than we had originally prepared ourselves for. it just feels a little icky that i've been laid off...as if there were something i could have done to prevent it (which there wasn't), even though it wasn't even the plan for me to return to work anyway. i was telling eric that it hurts initially because the selfish/prideful part of me thinks that it's just nice to feel that you were important enough to be saved from elimination. it isn't even like that though, because the layoffs were based on the organization's need for the position and not at all on performance. anyway, i'm over it after shedding a couple tears. i really loved where i worked, but i love my family so much more. owen was so so sweet afterwards and cuddled with me for a good hour as if to say, "remember, mama. this is why you're choosing to stay home with us. these moments that we'll never get back." i squeezed him so tightly and thanked God for making His plan for me so clear and obvious.

so here i am. officially unemployed and just waiting for xavier to come. if he's born tomorrow (the 29th) then the whole family will be paired by birth dates. owen and eric were both born on the 28th. isaiah and ethan were both born on the 20th. that leaves me and xavier for the 29th. we'll see! eric is holding out for august 1st so that xavier will be the oldest kid on his soccer team. i would rather xavier come out asap!