my house is empty. my tita and my cousin and my lolo left to go home to the philippines today and i'm sad. every time my tita leaves, i cry. i'm such a baby. it's not like i'm never going to see her again (she's coming back in the spring), but it's been that way since i had to say goodbye to her the first time she left the states when i was nine. and then i make her cry, and then we're both sitting there hugging and crying ourselves ugly. ah, well...life must go on..

i might be getting a new car. it's actually more of an i-am-going-to-get-a-new-car, but now i just have to find one to buy. but it can't be too expensive because i have no money and my insurance is going to be ridiculous since i like to drive fast and i'm not 25. shopping for a car is not as fun as shopping for clothes. at least for clothes you can just see if it fits...if it looks good and has a good price, buy it. but with a car, you have to know so many more things that i don't know, but should care about, and i assume i eventually will because i am a soon-to-be car owner. plus, i'm pretty sure that ny and eric will sufficiently educate me on everything i need to do as a soon-to-be car owner. they're good that way. i don't feel old enough to have my own car. maybe it's the whole financing thing...i've never bought anything big enough where i have to pay in installments. it's scary--like my first baby step to being independent from my mom. of course, at college i was independent from my mom because i didn't live at home, but she still made sure everything was paid for and that i didn't starve. and now i'm home, and she cooks and lets me live here for free...and, technically speaking, i'm still her dependent (so says the irs). i don't know what i'd do without her. i'd be so lost otherwise, but i don't think she knows it. maybe i should tell her.