i've been thinking a lot lately. (which is not really something i actively do. =P i leave that to eric...he thinks enough for the whole family.) in a nutshell, it comes down to: i believe in God, and i believe that He works everything out to work in your favor. whether working it out in your favor means now or later, in the end, it's for your own good. good, not bad.

eric and i found out on june 4 that isaiah was going to be a big brother. whoa. !! semi-planned...we kind of wanted to wait until after our trip to the philippines, but whatever, it didn't really matter to us. this is exciting! isaiah, a big brother! he doesn't know anything except how to blow spit and he's gonna be a big brother! this was definitely different than finding out about being pregnant the first time. with isaiah, we were both freaked out, a little scared (at least i was), and not quite ready (but, you know, were ready since we had to be). initially, i had to dig beneath the fear and anxiety to uncover my happiness. (don't get me wrong, i was happy.) anyways...this time, it's a whole new ball game. we're ready. we are seasoned pros having done this before. AND this coincides with madeleine and gary's baby boy to come...instant best buddies! so much to look forward to...

the obstetrician makes you wait until you're at least 8 weeks along before your first appointment. my first appointment was on july 8. all the nurses were like "you're here again, ALREADY?!" whatever. they love us. they were happy to see us. i find out that i get to have an early ultrasound. yess!! we get to see the baby (normally you have to wait until your 20th week). so we go on july 14. i was 11 weeks.

*side note: i wanted to wait to tell people about this baby. partly because i wanted our new situation to really settle in my mind and i also wanted to put some good thought into adjusting my immediate future plans to include pregnancy and a new baby, and partly because i quite honestly didn't want to deal with the "already?!", "are you ready for another so soon?", "that was really fast!", and those annoying looks of amused skepticsm from people as if to say "do you think you can handle it?" (which, thankfully, are not too common.)

you never really know how excited you are about something or how much you are looking forward to something until it's taken away from you. i wasn't quite sure what was going on until the tech stopped the ultrasound and told me to follow up with my o.b. later that day.

"is everything okay?" i ask.
"well, i'm not seeing a baby," she said.
what?!

she was so matter-of-fact. almost cold. so cold that i felt stupid and questioned whether or not i really was pregnant (which i had been). but then, is there really a good way to tell a mother and a father that they lost their baby? it was early, and it happens more often than anyone even knows...but, wow, i never thought it would happen to me. what's almost worse than losing the baby is knowing that i'd have to go through the physical symptoms of miscarriage, and the pregnancy symptoms don't go away right away either. every pain in my abdomen, every wave of nausea, every dizzy spell, and every time i don't have an appetite is a reminder of our baby. i came home from the ultrasound and hugged and hugged isaiah. it gets controversial when you think about life before birth. but this is what i know: there was life in me, and it died, and i grieve the loss of our baby the same way i grieved the loss of my dad.

but like i said before...God works everything out for the good. this is one of those things that He gives to us because He knows we can handle it and because He knows it will make us stronger. in His great plan for my life, it will have been a good thing that i've gone through this. [and there are so many things that we'll be able to do because of it (e.g., not missing a third snowboarding season in a row, an easier trip to the philippines, gene's wedding)]

last week i was in pennsylvania. out in the sticks. in the middle of nowhere. i couldn't even mapquest or google map or yahoo map the places i visited because these places were that far out in the middle of nowhere. i couldn't even get crossroads for these places from the people that *worked* there. anyway, i go to my first site, and the guy i'm supposed to meet is tied up, so could i wait for him in the lobby? sure. no problem, i'll just select one of the fine magazines you've left here for such an occasion. my choices: confederate veteran volume I. confederate veteran volume II. confederate veteran volume III. i take a glance outside: pick up truck, pick up truck with the confederate flag where the front license plate goes, pick up truck, another pick up truck with a confederate flag, and so on.

um, i'm in the north, right? i can't remember the last time i was worried that people were going to be really mean to me beause i'm asian. but i was worried. i was actually nervous. all that worry was for nothing, though. everyone was really nice in the sticks of PA...well except for this old lady at the mall near my hotel. she treated me like i was some weirdo. ah, the joys of business travel...

nba summer league is at the cox pavillion at unlv all until the end of next week. word on the street, you'll even get to see darko play. all of you going to vegas should check it out...

there are people in my office that go years (?!!) without taking a vacation. they'll accrue like 3 months of vacation. can you imagine? most people get 2 weeks of vacation a year. that's SIX YEARS without taking time off. i don't know how they do it. *i'm* dying because i can't take a vacation until september when we go to the philippines. i need a break now. i need to not work or think about work for at least a week. i was sick last week, so i called in. ended up working 10 hours at home anyway. isn't that messed up?

anway...eric gets the next two weeks off of work. i'm excited for him. i wish my company would make me take two weeks off. that would be the bomb.

..aand they're back! the pistons have emerged from whatever rock they've been playing under the past two games and took it to san antonio. yesss!! *arm pump*

you know, it's not just up to the pistons. it's up to all of us. yes, it matters that eric and i watch the away games in alvin's living room with chrissy, alvin, j, and chris. and it matters where we sit. and it matters if we wear our jerseys. apparently it also matters that if the jersey has not been washed since the beginning of playoffs, it will remain unwashed until we win the championship. i think for these big games, it's important that i fall asleep at halftime. i know! it's crazy that i can even sleep through any of the game. but lately, i canNOT keep my eyes open. i've been so tired. but it works, so should i really complain? you gotta do what you gotta do to win....

by the way, i'm jealous that you guys got to see stevie wonder perform live.

WOOHOOO!!!

GOOOOO PISTONS!!!!

apparently, that "are you in?" guy has never been inside a meijers. we switched to verizon partly because eric gets a discount through gm and partly because it's supposed to have great service everywhere. um, mr. areyouin?, not in meijers. i'm going to lowe's right now, another place notorious for bad cell phone service. we will see if verizon passes the test. although, i will admit that i can't count down to the exact second where my phone will cut out on 696 in southfield anymore, so one point for the verizon team.

does anyone know how to change the voicemail settings so your callers don't have to hear instructions on how to leave a voicemail? i hate that.

happy friday!!!

dear lola,

thanks for feeding me ramen soup when i was sick and for making us pancakes when we slept over. thanks for teaching me the right way to fold my clothes and for your big smile whenever we saw each other. thanks for slipping me money and always giving me wrigley's doublemint gum. most of all, thank you for all your love and for showing me what it is to be strong despite being in a frail body. i miss you very much, and i hope that you are happy in Heaven. i'm sure you have already found my dad and tita alice. don't forget to stand up straight!

all my love,
your dearest annalisa

wicked! was only okay. totally not what i expected. i was pretty disappointed in the actors. definitely not to par with the originals. of course, i wasn't expecting elphaba and g(a)linda to be as good as idina and kristen (that's right, we're on a first-name basis)...but i expected them to be good at least.



...NOT!


ohmygosh,itwassoooamazing!!!--but i won't get too excited here because i don't want to overhype it. ugh. i LOOOVE wicked!

wicked! in four days and counting...

i was so excited to get coffee before the game today that i forgot to unbuckle my seatbelt before trying to exit the car.

goooo pistons!!!!

i've come to the conclusion that the only way i won't feel dumb wearing a polo shirt or an oxford button-up is if 1) it's part of a uniform or 2) it has my work's logo on it and i'm wearing it at work.

i've recently discovered that you can order your coffee extra hot. i feel gypped* when i get a semi-warm cup of coffee because the person making my latte was too lazy to wait the extra five seconds it takes to make the milk hot. i'm also going to take this time to vent that if you're not going to have pumpkin spice latte available, then take it off the menu. don't tease me. this has only happened to me a bajillion times.

*also spelled "gipped" for those who care.

i've been feeling creative lately:

ode to shin splints
shin splints shin splints go away
come again never ever again.

happy monday!

some people only like to do things that they know they do well. i am not one of those people. for instance: i hate to do laundry despite the fact that i am fabulous at doing it.

we've been so busy lately that i'm actually looking forward to when i get the chance to do yardwork and give the house a good cleaning. the warm temperatures and sunshine must trigger something that makes us want to do those things.

i've had some serious a.d.d. tendencies lately. no focus at all...

hi, it's 5:00 and i'm going home withOUT my computer for the first time in a month. yay!!!

isaiah is crawling. everywhere. this means you can't leave him unsupervised in the house because it hasn't been baby-proofed yet. who knew a coffee table could be so dangerous? it's currently surrounded by all the couch pillows. we've caught isaiah falling head first off of the couch, the bed, the other couch....i mean we literally caught him, not just caught him as in watched him. whew. isaiah learned to roll over (from his back to his tummy), creep, and crawl in the span of a week. they crawl backwards first...bet ya didn't know that. he's growing too fast!! someone make it slow down!

when i was in first grade, my teacher told me not to eat next to the computer because i could break it. i was eating a lollipop at the time. the end.

sd. everytime i go it feels like i haven't been away for a year.

[*tangent* eric wants me to blog about him. he is sitting with isaiah watching 'i robot' wearing his cuddle buddy bracelet. he just got back from the first jedi game of the season. i think he has a sweet jumper.]

anyway..i feel we were able to make the most of my overnight stay. i mean...sushi deli, a coffee shop where the waiters and waitresses (i'm not sure how well they spoke english) wanted to give us cup after cup of coffee, and some lounge with good music. i wish detroit had places where you could dance to good music. i am a bit sad that i missed in cahoots, and consequently hoots squared...maybe next time. (hi, lilly!) you'll have to tell me how that goes. it was tough being away from eric and isaiah...but the amount that i missed them was made up in quality time with friends. =D

they just opened up a drive thru starbucks near my house. you take for granted just being able to run into a store to grab something like coffee before you have carry the baby around in the car seat. (i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing..might limit my spontaneous purchases.)

going to cali tomorrow. see you guys there!

wicked. i can't get enough of it. got the cd and the music book for valentines day. love 'em! i can listen to it in the car and then come in and plunk out the songs on the piano. i am once again inspired to play the piano well. and i want to play the guitar again. ooh...i can't wait til i can really play the songs.....

*you must realize that i am rarely this excited or inspired about anything these days. i used to live that way, passionate about everything i did, wanting to do soo good at everything i did...class, piano, plays, dance, etc....to have this feeling again is very refreshing.

do you know how much more work you get done when you're not working in front of the tv? it's amazing.

hi. i've been walking around with my fly open all day.

i just ate diet cinnamon toast crunch. 75% less sugar and made with whole grain. now the whole grain, i don't mind at all. but isn't the point of eating cinnamon toast crunch the sugary-cinnamony goodness coating every bit of cereal in every bite? and they just removed 75% of it! so for all you cinnamon toast crunch lovers out there...just stay away from the new version...i wouldn't want you to be disappointed.

i'm rather enjoying working in a group right now. there are other people to bond with over the struggle of this enormous project. the best part is that i'm just helping out...i don't have to submit the final product. i just write little paragraphs here and there about what i see in drawings and that gets added into the report. "whatever you guys don't finish today, i'm just going to finish this weekend." ahh...wonderful words when not spoken by me. =D

i got to work at 7:30am today. is it gross that i'm still drinking the same cafe mocha i picked up on my way in?

almost midnight. why am i up? i should be sleeping. isaiah is such a cuddle-head when he sleeps. if he's not cuddling with a warm body, he's cuddling up to a bunch of pillows we've smushed up against him to simulate a warm body. ha. baby's take up a lot more room in a bed than you would think.

i wonder if connie and eric won the detroit sports bowl with their gm team. they would win superbowl tickets, you know. that would be sweet, although...would they really go if they only got one ticket? and if they could sell the ticket for $2,000 would they still go? would you?

by the way...if you ever need advice on how to get through a 100-foot inflatable obstacle course...chrissy and i are your experts.

embarrassing moment at the detroit sports bowl. while talking to one of the personal trainers from the basketball workshop...

me: so what is the basketball workshop?

basketball workshop guy: oh, we're personal trainers. you know, for high school, middle school, college, and some pro.

me: oh cool, so do you work with any of the lions*?

chrissy: (whispering) basketball! basketball!!

me: (enter sinking feeling of utter stupidity) doh. i mean the pistons.

*in my defense, we were in ford field (where the lions play). regardless...i'm so dumb!

isaiah just turned all by himself in his little play saucer!! usually you have to turn him if he wants to play with different things on the play saucer thing. he keeps looking back at me with a big goofy smile as i type this.

i love him!

phlegm.

if i didn't know that word and i had to sound it out, i would be totally wrong. puhalegum. i just thought it looked funny. it might be the funniest-looking word i know. btw...there is no alternate spelling. can't spell it 'flem'. (in case you were wondering.)

i'm *home and sick. semi-working. don't really want to. it was very nice to sleep all day yesterday (i was home and sick as well). i just found three of my old roommates on friendster and requested that they officially become my friends. already a productive day!

*can't say "i'm home sick" because people will think you're homesick. of course you can't be homesick if you're at home. bleh. the more i type "homesick" the funnier it looks.

helloooo 2005!

happy new year!!

i have been rusty at boggle. must re-install text twist to my pda for practice. =P btw: tet = vietnamese new year. it's a word that's a real word! does it count?

saw an old man shopping for lettuce in the grocery store.

i think he forgot his pants. all i could see were boxers. at least he had that going for him.

someone should tell him that it's snowing outside.

it has been a strange day.

someone is cutting their nails. in the office.

is it just me, or is that a little weird?

let's just take a minute to revel in the genius of cookie exchanges.

...

great. we had a cookie exchange at work today and i had committed to making the butterscotch toffee cookies. how great is it that by making a couple batches of one kind of cookie, you will get 18 other kinds of cookies???

i am a zombie. no thoughts at all in my head. i need to be inspired...i'm afraid that i am in a boring lull. (boring lull as in i am boring, not so much that i am bored. if that makes sense.) sorry for the boring posts...

maybe i will be recharged after overeating this weekend. i actually heard a meijer ad on the radio today: "just because there's a lot of food at a low price, doesn't mean that you have to eat it all." basically, meijer is telling us to not be big fat piggies at thanksgiving. nice.

all the managers are sitting in the conference room discussing our raises. you know what that means? i'm going home! yay!

thanksgiving is next week already. that was quick.

i had another random thought to blog...but i forget....

once upon a time there was a baby boy...

...who got swallowed by a baby chicken...

the baby boy cried and cried. he cried so much that he turned into a pumpkin!

fortunately, this was not a permanent state. at midnight *poof* the pumpkin turned back into a baby boy, and the baby boy went home to play with his puppy.

the end.

big day today.

did you vote?

nba opening day. gooooo pistons!!!!

the baby chicken costume didn't work out. he cried and cried. so he was a jack-o-lantern instead. still cute. despite the crying and crying there are pictures of isaiah in the baby chicken costume. cute! i just don't know how to post them....help?

last saturday, playing madden 2k5:

me: you guys are making yourselves [players]?

guys: yeah! and you're a kicker.

me: i'm a kicker?! cool!...hey, you can see 'A. Agustin'on the back of the jersey. why did you guys make my mom a player??

guys: that's LORIE.


hahahahaha...

ran half a mile yesterday...first time running in 10 months. yikes. it hurt. still hurts. that was only half a mile. i'm scared to play soccer. i foresee barfing during my first game back. don't know if that will be on thursday...we will see.

unlimited skips while listening to launch is essential when streaming all day. commercial free is key as well. loooove launchast plus.

i get to work from home tomorrow. actually, i get to work from home on fridays until further notice....isaiah will get to hang out with me while i work. =D i miss hanging out with him all day. ten weeks went by so fast...going back to work and leaving him for the whole day for the first time was so hard (i cried and cried on my way to work). you would think that it would be a relief to get out of the house and escape the constant diaper changing/feeding/soothing the baby. i guess it is, but i hate that i will inevitably miss the first time he does something cool, like crawl or roll over or speak...ugh. i would be so sad if his first word isn't in front of me and eric. anway...next to isaiah..i miss sleeping the most. it amazes me that millions of people do this all the time. it's so hard to stay awake and energized....

...zzzzz........

yesterday, i heard a story on the radio about michigan's attorney general cox. his first name is mike. they kept saying his name over and over. mike cox.

i thought that was funny.
(hi, i'm twelve years old.)

it's nice when all you have to do is sleep and eat all day.

i will miss it when i go back to work. only a few more days left...

they lied. your pictures aren't up yet. boo.

got peed on today. it's been a while, so i guess it was due.

oh, well. gives me an excuse to change the little man into a new overalls outfit. baby clothes are so cute.

there is potential for a cider mill trip this saturday. what fun! it's that time of year where we get to go to cider mills!!

it's my first time on a computer in a week. i haven't been away from a computer for this long since we went to hawaii last year. isaiah is growing and growing...can't believe he's almost ten pounds. i think he's super cute, even when he cries. so sometimes i just let him cry because he's so cute (but not for too long).

a couple weeks ago, eric and i rediscovered the greatness of $1.00 movies. i mean, how many movies would you go see if it only cost $1.00? you might even get me to see garfield for $1.00 if you catch me in the midst of utter boredom. aaand if you go to the first matinee, it's only $0.50. two quarters!! you can't even get candy bars at regular price for that cheap.

i have to go back to work in two weeks. =( i don't wanna go.

happy two-two birthday, bunso!!!

i'm so scared of bugs. i totally just ran away from a HUGE creepy crawly really fast moving bug. i totally fell in the process. hahahahahaha. i can't believe i fell.

my phone is broken. the screens are blank, and i have no idea who is calling me...no more caller id, no more voicemail notification, no more missed call notification. i'm basically taking a chance when i blindly use the search function in my address book...unless of course i've memorized your speed dial number. if you're super special, i actually have your phone number memorized. so look out for a mass email from me requesting your phone number....

...it's been awhile....or maybe it just seems like that because i've been spending my days indoors?

ryan and lorie are married...finally! woohoo!! what a great day. i love them so much. they're wedding was so gorgeous. i was doing so well, totally ready to not cry at all...happy day, no reason to cry, happy day, i'm not gonna cry. then there's my stupid brother. seeing any member of my immediate family cry will instantly send me into tears. so since i saw his tears right before kris and i walked down the aisle, i ended up crying all the way down the aisle. dangit. lorie did better...she made it all the way past the vows before she partially messed up her makeup. i was totally prepared to not cry during my speech, too...who am i kidding? i'm such a baby. i totally cried...lorie went down with me. our theory that getting our makeup professionally done by suzanne (who will make you look like a STAR, btw...) was shot down that night. oh well. it's just what happens when you're so happy for people you love so much. they're in fiji right now, which i think is pretty cool, since they are the first people i know that have been to fiji.

saw babbs today. i wish i knew how to post pictures, cuz then i would post the picture of him holding isaiah. such a big guy holding such a little dude. it's cute. i can't believe how fast isaiah is growing. he's starting to be chubby! chubbers...hehehe.

the aches and pains of giving birth are starting to go away. i totally want to start exercising, but i'm on restricted physical activities until october. booo. i can't even vacuum or climb the stairs a lot. i'm not even supposed to lift anything heavier than isaiah. you would think that the tremendous amount of physical pain of giving birth would put an end to all the discomforts that come with a pregnancy....nope! it kind of gets worse before it gets better. and it kind of sucks that the belly doesn't go away right away....at least when you're pregnant there's something in there making your belly big. i'm totally waiting for someone to ask me when i'm due. i will cry when that happens. when people say that you forget the pain of labor and delivery after you have your baby...it's totally true. i mean, you don't forget that it definitely sucked to go through...but it's not like you re-live it and suffer through it over and over. you have all the new hurts to go through anyway. but we won't go into detail...i wouldn't want to gross anyone out....=P

and i definitely just babbled.

i'm so sad the olympics are over. i looooove the olympics. i love that the games were on 7 channels so you could watch them all the time. i love even more that i was home the whole time so i could watch all the games i wanted and all the soccer games were broadcasted commercial free in their entirety. i only missed one u.s. women's soccer game and i think it was because i was in labor. a couple comments:

the u.s. women's soccer team is so awesome. i think they are so great that i totally want to be friends with them.

in general, the u.s. women's teams were awesome. chicks rule. i'm kind of glad the u.s. men's basketball team didn't get gold.

i don't understand the modern pentathlon. why is it called "modern"? last time i checked, fencing and riding horses wasn't all that common...

i've been spelling "triathlon" wrong my whole life. all those multi-discipline events...decathlon, pentathlon, triathlon....none of them have a second "a" after the "th"....so i guess that means i've been adding an extra syllable to all those words, too?

okay, i'm done. time to feed the baby.

i am in love all over again.

seven years and one night ago, my sister and i sat at my dad's bedside really late at night, unknowingly watching my dad fight through his last breaths. it was scary. we were crying and crying and didn't know what to do. i didn't consider God to be a great ally at the time, but all we could think of to do was to pray. so we did. "Our Father, who art in heaven...." it's amazing how comforting prayer is, no matter how small your faith.

i remember being woken up before 7am the next morning by my mom. "you guys? ryan?...come down. i think...he's not breathing..." he was gone. our relatives came. i was numb. i was supposed to go to the smokin' grooves concert that night. the first thing i did was wake up my friend up at 7:30am to tell him i couldn't go anymore. i don't know why that was the first thing i thought of. people came and took my daddy away. it was 11 days before my 18th birthday.

the thing that strikes me most about the memory of that day is that my mom specifically called for my brother. see....he's getting married in a couple weeks, and he's gonna be an uncle very soon here...and over the last seven years he's been a rock for my mom and me and my sister. he's dependable. if something goes wrong, i can call him, he'll show up, and i'll feel better. 'ryan's coming, everything will be okay.' he has been strength in our family that goes without saying...and no doubt it has been hard for him, and yet he does it. he so quickly took over the things my daddy would do that we didn't even notice that he did it. again, he's a rock. and it's time for him to put us second. he'll be a rock for lorie in their marriage. she's a lucky lady to have found the someone who will love her and support her forever in my brother. God has blessed them with that love for each other, and i'm thankful that He brought them together. that's really what that comes down to...

seven years after that night my sister and i cried and prayed together, i cried with my brother. i can't remember the last time i cried with him. it's like we never saw any tears because he was being strong for us. but we can be strong for you, ny. we'll be strong together. you're the best big brother and i love you.

due date: august 16, 2004.

status: still pregnant.

updates: to come...

bleh. i just erased a whole entry because it's that uninteresting. i think i've reached my limit of idleness. two weeks is about all i can take before i need to be useful again. there is only so much sleeping and tv watching and running errands that i can do without anything else to fill in the time.

hmm...not much to blog about. household chores can really fill up your day. it's amazing that it's normal for both parents to work these days.

i've discovered that i like watching 'revealed with jules asner'. i don't know why. but it's on every morning on e!...just in time for me to enjoy my breakfast.

pretty cards ALL over my living room. i love it!!!!

it's amazing what plastic sleeves and plastic boxes do for presentation.

oh, i'm kind of sad. this morning, it felt like the day before summer vacation (except for not really, right, suj?)...pretty exciting. still pretty exciting that i don't have to come into work on monday. but everyone here is so nice, and i didn't even think i would really miss them much. not that i'll miss them a ton, but there will be some missing going on....so many people stopping by...making sure they see me before i take off for a couple months...making sure i'm gonna come back after a couple months (hehe)... it just surprises me, i guess, that people care as much as they do.

don't get me wrong. i'm totally not working for the next 10 weeks. yeah!!

last night on the world poker tour, the winner donated all his profits to charity.  he won close to $1.3 million.

i thought that was nice.

it makes me happy to see that kind of generosity, particularly in the realm of poker.  fill in the blank:  if i made $1 million in a poker tournament, i would _______.

whenever i go out for breakfast i always struggle with getting eggs and bacon or pancakes or waffles.  pancakes and waffles don't come with anything else, so i never feel like it's a complete breakfast.  therefore, i hardly ever order them....BUT!  there's this restaurant that eric and i think is so great because when you order eggs and bacon they ask "do you want a side of toast or a side of pancakes?"  pancakes?!!!  how GREAT!  of course i'll have the pancakes!  (i think they might do this at ihop, but ihop is not so good.)  i only bring this up because i'm working at home (please note the lack of quotation marks) and i'm debating whether or not to make pancakes for breakfast....

my hands smell like garlic.  i forgot to get the smell off with stainless steel after i cooked last night.  not having a stainless steel sink sucks.  our kitchen sink right now is porcelain.  it's like having a bathroom sink in your kitchen, but bigger.  i can't wait til we get a stainless steel sink.

to fit an 11"x17" page in a 8.5"x11" bound report you...
 
1. fold 11"x17" page in half lengthwise, with the right side of the page on top.
2. fold the right side of the page in half in the opposite direction of the initial fold.
 
voila...the page gets folded to fit in a bound report without having to reduce the page to itty bitty print.  the great part is that it allows you to peek at the title block conveniently located on the bottom right hand corner.  they even have machines that do this kind of thing.  now for almost all of you, you probably don't care.  i, however, am dealing with inadequate folding.  can someone pleeaase tell me how hard it is to fold a piece of paper in half and then half of the half in half again?????  i wish i wasn't so anal.

neat-o.  user friendly formating.
 
whenever i finish a task at work, i like to reward myself with a break--check a blog, check my email, etc... when i finish a big task (or when i just don't feel like working), i check everything.  all my email accounts, all the blogs.  i even check my gmail account...(which i might get yelled at for having one because i think some people may have tried to get me to start one when they were first available).  regardless...i have a gmail account and i check it even though no one has the email address.  isn't that silly?
 
happy monday everyone.  begin two week count down of when i will be off of work for 10 weeks.

i found a michigan quarter! i had one when it first came out, but i lost it...and i almost just spent this one in the vending machine. phew!! i haven't been very good about keeping up with the new quarters. it's hard to collect them when you don't use cash. i hate it when you give the cashier change so you'll get quarters back, and they give you your change in nickels and dimes. argh. i want the quarters!!

this kid can't grow any bigger. there's no more room in my belly!!!! i thought it was crazy before when i could see little bumps here and there. but now...we're talking full on tummy distortion.

and i'm gonna stop talking about the baby. i sometimes feel like i talk about the subject too much, and i don't want people to think that i don't wonder about them. =( it's just so out there (literally), so i guess it's easy conversation, but really...what's going on with YOU? how are YOU doing? tell me about YOUR life because i really really want to know. so if you catch me babbling baby baby baby, feel free to stop me and change the subject. =)

people need to blog more. (perhaps this will make me more productive?) and my heights girls need to come back. we have no girls to play soccer with. and my random banter buddy is gone for soooo long. come back!!! (again, more productivity?) oh, and we need to stamp. august 7 is not so far away...

the doctor is pretty sure the baby's postitioned head-down right now (yay! we don't want a breeched baby - pray that he stays this way!) which got me thinking....i wonder what it's like to be upside-down all day. i'm thinking that it's not as uncomfortable for isaiah in my tummy as it would be outside of my tummy. anyway, now that i know how isaiah is positioned, i can name the movements: 'oh, that was his foot. that must have been his elbow. dude, his knee is protruding from my stomach.' you get the idea.

i am convinced that ice cream is one of the best ways to cheer people up. what is it about ice cream that makes us so happy? we went to my church's ice cream social last night and people were literally skipping in the parking lot. skipping like they were five year old girls. tangent: we got graded on skipping in kindergarten. how does that have any bearing on our ability to learn?

i just spent the last 10 minutes of my work day trying to figure out how to change the clock on my radio. i always forget how to change the clock. last time it took me a half hour to figure it out. i think i'm getting better.

i have a crate underneath my desk to prop my feet on while i work. my feet are looking like pillows with toes. i really need to get different sandals. the ones that i can fit my pillow feet into are brown, which doesn't really match a lot of my clothes. i wish a certain bunso hadn't broken all my black sandals. or stolen them. =P i used to have so many shoes. i tend to find them on my sister's feet months after i stop looking for them.

blah blah blah.

pointless blog.

i'm gonna go home now.

this is the song that i can't get out of my head:

down by the station early in the morning
see the little puffer bellies all in a row
see the engine driver pull the little handle
puff puff toot toot!
off they go

i am partial to gala apples. however, not all gala apples have the same texture or taste. why? perhaps the little sticker on the apples are not the rignt ones?

one a different note: don't you hate when people give you crappy work and then get pissed when you keep giving the work back to them with corrections? ugh.

i'm such a pack rat. i found my new kids on the block 'hanging tough' tape amongst my junk the other night. why why why do i still have it? and why why why did i not throw it away? hehe...anyone want an nkotb tape?

...and for some reason i can't bring myself to throw away the programs from all of the shows and musicals i've seen.

to take off the whole two weeks or not to take off the whole two weeks before the baby is born??

i kind of want to. why am i even struggling with this? i should take advantage of it, yes? they'd even pay me for it as part of my "short term disability". (that's what they consider maternity leave, btw..) and my manager doesn't care...

me: my doctor said i can work up until the baby is born.
mgr: oh, don't do that.
me: but he usually recommends that his patients take off the two weeks before the baby is born.
mgr: oh just do that. just work to the end of july.

how cool is she? such a blessing that she doesn't want me to work too hard. but two weeks by myself? will i be bored? i might. i don't want to sleep *all* the time. but i would be able to sleep. mmmm..sleeeeeep. i love sleep. especially now. do you know how annoying it is to wake up in the middle of the night/very early morning because you have to pee? it ruins a good night's sleep.

who am i kidding? i'm totally taking those two weeks off. you know what that means? i only have to work for another month!

let's talk about the pregnant maternal "glow" and how it's not so much a "glow" as it is the reflection of the light off of the excessive amounts of oil oozing from the pores making one break out as if she were 12 years old.

i forgot my lunch at home.

=(

this is potentially upsetting to someone with only two dollars in her wallet. there is always the option of charging...but when you have to charge a meal at say, wendy's, don't you feel somewhat inclined to buy more to justify the fact that you have to charge less than five bucks? or you end up going somewhere where you end up spending much more than you would want. and i know there are dollar menus...but my lunch was WAY better than the dollar menu options.

*ten minutes later..

good news: vendors are coming in to give us a presentation on tanks or something.
better news: they're providing us with pizza and pop! yesssss!!

WOOO
HOOO!!!!!

i can't remember the last time i felt well rested. i finally finished up these reports that have been looming over me for the past three weeks. *exhale* i can finally clean up my desk. i want to clean my desk and then go home and sleep.

the baby's moving a ton these days. it's really funny because you can see my tummy move when he does. i guess it's not that funny...but i'm pretty easily amused these days (more so than usual, haha). i think it's the hormones. (although it's probably because i'm a big dork.) eight more weeks til isaiah's e.t.a. eric thinks he'll be early. eight weeks!!! that's nothing! think of how fast the year has gone by already...memorial day feels like ages ago, and the first session of outdoor is already over. (i got sunburned again, btw...not doing so well for the non-tanline look i'm going for for ny and lorie's wedding.) i hope the rest of life doesn't go by this fast. i do like time better when it slows down....

argghhhh!!!

note to self: save often.

what am i doing??? i have so much work to do and yet...i'm sitting here checking blogs. ahhh!! i'm so stupid!! i'm a bit overwhelmed. all. i want. to do. is. sleep. i'm not about staying late for work on gorgeous fridays. i'm really not about being at work on most days. i feel a little stress. something i haven't felt very much while working. i don't really stress...least of all about work....yet looking at these huge piles of papers and binders on my desk makes me want to crawl into bed and disappear under the covers for a while.

i think i want some bubble tea.

is it supposed to rain?

my leg hurts.

i feel old. it's 9:30pm and i want to go to bed. must say i'm relieved the pistons made it to the finals in six. that's one more night this week that i don't have to go to bed late because of the game. it begins again on sunday. beat l.a.!!!

-my jaw hurts. i hope i'm not getting extra wisdom teeth.

-i value number pads. there isn't one on my laptop.

-how do people just dive into work and focus focus focus? i wish i could do that right now.

-it's dumb that we don't get tomorrow off and other people do.

-i don't understand why they say this last season of american idol was the best one yet. i thought it was awful. i would be so happy to never hear or see fantasia perform ever. the finals should have been between jennifer and latoya.

-GO PISTONS!!! they sure aren't getting love from anywhere else but detroit.

-we went to a baptism class last night. i wish the people that were teaching the class made a bigger deal out of the fact that all these little babies were going to be reborn in Christ. it's a big deal! it's a really good thing and a happy event! it kind of seemed like this is just something we did. i mean, they showed us what *i* thought was a good video, but i have a feeling that not everyone watching it thought it was a good video. bleh.

pringles were on sale at meijers for 88 cents. i bought some. they are addicting. i should not leave the can of pringles next to my computer or i will eat them all.

can i go home yet?

weekends are too short.

isn't it great when you think something is due very very soon (and you are nowhere close to being finished) and you find out you have two more weeks to finish it?

*exhale*

the kings just got sent home. i'm not sure how i feel about that. i wonder if chris webber was thinking of that time out/technical foul after he missed that three pointer and put his head on the court. i wonder if he thinks that whenever he fails to make the big play. "oh man...i did it again." =P

ahhh...much better. i don't know why my blog kept showing january's entries.

so i went to my doctor for my monthly appointment today and he asked: "so what are your strange cravings?" (figures. why is this the first question people ask pregnant people??? why???) so i oblige and give him the story about me loving ice cream even though i didn't before....and whaddya know?! they just happen to have a selection of ice cream at the doctor's office. first of all, what doctor's office keeps a stock of ice cream? not yours, i bet. and what doctor offers you ice cream upon departure?? MINE! my opinion of my doctor's office just jumped up 5,000 notches. i got a vanilla fudge drumstick and left the doctor's office happy. =) WAAAYY better than one of those sugar free suckers any day.

this is one of those weeks where it is so busy that you just want to stay in bed under the covers. i hate that i the first thought in my head when i woke up this morning was about work. yuck. it should never be like that. ever ever ever.

so my little niece (my cousin's daughter, not my brother's or my sister's) looooves the cat in the hat. she just got the dvd. one of the bonus features is this dance that the cat in the hat teaches to all these little kids.

sidenote: it is really cute to see a little four year old and her one-and-a-half-year-old brother bounce around "dancing".

anyway...so there's this awesome asian kid that is infinitely better than all the other kids dancing on this dvd...and i think it's that little kid from formality. (remember, jon? we wanted to kidnap him at the culture shock show last year?) cute kid. crazy style.

that's all.

oh! and we moved into our house over the weekend. we have a house! it's so great. and it's not at all sad that we're leaving the condo because our house is that great. if it weren't for loving friends, we definitely would not have been able to move in over the weekend. it would have taken months and lots of trips. you guys rock. well, i should say eric would not have been able to move in over the weekend since i was basically useless because i can't lift anything heavy, which stinks.....i'm soooooo thankful to everyone for helping. we still have cake, guys! come on over!! it's so yummy. and we should have electricity today, so we won't even have to eat it in the dark. =P

if i didn't remind you already, and if i you didn't see conehead's blog...

today is definitely free ice cream day.

there's another free ice cream day tomorrow, too, if you forget to go today.

there's something about the promise of free ice cream that makes the day so much better. ice cream in itself is great...especially when it is served to you. and FREE! free is GREAT.

it's really funny because i'm not really that big on ice cream (um, unless it's on a warm brownie or chocolate chip cookie and then you've found my weakness)...at least not before the baby. and NOW...oh my gosh...ice cream, milkshakes...for like 2 months i ate so much ice cream. i gained soooo much weight in 6 weeks....enough to evoke a "whoa! you gained a lot since the last appointment!" from the doctor. wow...that was a little humbling. it's funny that people think that you can eat whatever you want when you're pregnant....so not true. i mean, you definitely eat a little more and more often...but more healthy stuff (fruit, veggies, lots of water) is definitely encouraged. they even have a pregnancy diet so that you get all the nutrients that the baby needs. it's like a list that a dietician would give you if you were to go on a diet to lose weight...and in case anyone cared, the target weight gain for the average pregnancy is between 25 and 35 pounds.

i just realized that my last few posts have been about food. *sigh*

more on m&ms...(gold star to anyone who can guess my current craving =P)

is it just me, or does it seem like they are phasing out the brown m&ms? there are so few in my medium bag.

oh wait.

on the back of the bag it reads: "chocolate is better in color".

nevermind.

hahahahhaha. i'm so dumb.

i think i ate myself stupid with m&ms.

it's true. you can get a stomach ache from eating too much candy.

ahhhh! it is too beautiful outside to be working. everyone go home! or just leave work! go play outside! yeah!

whew...

(or phew...as amit would say).

...it's friday. at last. we like fridays.

*exhale*

my throat is really sore. i wanted to stay home from work today, but we have our house inspection tomorrow morning and i'd have to miss half a day for that...and then there's the pistons game tonight with chrissy...i couldn't really miss out on that, could i? i haven't been to a pistons game in forever. so i'm sticking it out at the office so i won't feel bad if i go to the game. yeah! i'll just make sure i bring some work home in case i have to *work from home* tomorrow.

i was wrong!! i totally thought it was going to be a girl!!

it's an isaiah instead. =D

isaiah like the prophet, not the former Bad Boy.

what a relief...no more "it". just beautiful isaiah that we can refer to as "he". the ultrasound even shows us his face. isn't that amazing???

they weren't lying when they (whoever "they" are) named charleston the friendliest/nicest city in the u.s. people are SO nice there. what is it with southern hospitality? why does all the hospitality have to be in the south? maybe it's something in the water....

today is ultrasound day. boy or girl? any bets? hehe...

i feel that there are so many big changes going on.

i had such a great time in new york. so much love. so much quality time (for once!). so much good food. so. much. fun.

thinking about last weekend makes me smile.

=D

unbelievable.

alvin calls me to tell me that my way home from work is a parking lot for like 10 miles because of an accident. (what a good friend. thanks, man!) okay. so i wait it out. i'm about to leave and i hear that there is "breaking news" on eastbound 696.

the freeway is closed right smack dab in the middle of my commute.

i hate that there is no other good way home. yuck. i hate traffic.

i should not complain. it's practically friday. we will be in nyc at this time tomorrow. =D

an event for the books:

Jedi 43
Pearl 35
Final

that's right. jedi rocked today. woohoo!!! go jedi!

don't you hate when you stop on a bad movie on tv and you just can't stop watching it? horrible acting and all.

people at my work make a big deal about st. patrick's day. people even took vacation days today. they aren't even irish. is it really such a great day to celebrate by drinking beer and eating corned beef all day long? i don't get it.

two things i learned this weekend:

1. paolo is really smart. i actually already knew this. it was just re-affirmed by his extensive knowledge of everything from body fat to whatever question was on the red cranium cards.

2. it is possible to laugh so hard that you are close to throwing up. perhaps this only happens when there is a lot of food that has been consumed. regardless, it is possible.


feel free to leave your favorite catchphrase clues in the comment box. =)

i just noticed that the blogger ad at the top of my page corresponds to the day's post. like for my last post...there were ads about swimming with dolphins and personlized pregnancy calendars. creepy.

i'm picking up lorie from the airport tomorrow. that will be my 6th time in two weeks that i've been there. that's a lot.

i just got back from mississippi. memphis, actually. i was barely in mississippi. but i feel i was in mississippi long enough to mark it off on my "states i've visited map". my hotel was really close to graceland, but i didn't go. i did eat fried pickles and a bbq sandwich and a mississippi mud pie. i felt it was appropriate, being in the south and all. fried pickles are interesting. think blooming onion (including the sauce) but pickle instead of onion. like i said: interesting. who would ever think to fry a pickle?

i think about food a lot these days. i'm gonna have to buy new pants soon.

i totally got nothing done today.

this is an unsettling feeling.

i hate having unsettling feelings. it means you know that you did something wrong or didnt' do something you know you should have done. ugh.

at least it's friday. tgif.

it was a year ago around this time that eric proposed.
six months later we were married.
and now i'm 17 weeks pregnant.

that is really weird to see written out.

after 3 more weeks we'll be able to find out if it's a boy or girl, and "legolas", "yahyah", "ice", and "it" will no longer be necessary (although affectionate) when referring to the baby. it is still so crazy to me. good crazy. mind blowing that there's another person in my tummy. lorie once told me that they don't really like for pregnant women to be in the water when a group is swimming with the dolphins at discovery cove. apparently, the dolphins can hear the baby's heartbeat and are drawn to it, therefore playing favorites with the pregnant woman. anyways, tangent.

we're gonna go watch the passion tonight. i really wish i got to see it in sd...

who knew monkeys and apes and orangutangs and gorillas were really that much fun to watch? last friday i realized just how much eric is entertained by primates. it is instant laughs when it's the real thing and not puppets. we're talking tears, people. who knew? i thought it was a guy thing...but after a sombering conversation with these old lady volunteers about saving the sun bears, visiting monkeys sounded like a good idea to get cheered up.

i miss my san diego buddies. good trip. made buttons. lots of buttons. dumb ones and dave's son ones. (it was probably a good thing that hong's computer broke or else i feel many many more dumb buttons would have been made.) one of the very good things was that i finally got to watch gene perform. yay! watching friends doing what they love makes me happy. and playing soccer with friends is a very good thing. watching jon attempt a header when the ball was on the ground was a bonus. the "don't hurt the pregnant lady" rule made it infinitely easier to bring the ball up from the back. hehe. =P

i'm gonna go eat subway now in honor of hongk and him letting us crash at the hotel this weekend.

hi.

i'm about to go to the san diego zoo with eric, galvez, and james.

happy friday!

feet still hurt from standing for 3 hours in high heels on saturday night. yuck. glad i can wear sneakers to the office.

the trailer that eric and ny and joel put together for the emagine theater contest won first place. woohoo! all i want to say is how great it is to have your very own medium popcorn and medium drink for FREE at the movies. (thanks, guys!) although....it may not have been so wise to actually FINISH the entire medium popcorn we each had to ourselves. especially if you asked for extra butter. hehe. i can still feel the butter in my throat. ewwwww. but at the same time...yummy!

and guess what? i'm hungry! heehee. time for lunch. =D

do you think they (whoever "they" are) tell us to drink eight 8-oz. glasses of water a day because we really need that much water a day or because they know we won't drink that much a day, and any feeble attempt to drink that much water in a day would be sufficient water intake for the day? *exhale* i'm just saying that it's really hard to do. they should keep a supply of lemon wedges next to the water cooler at work. and why does restaurant water taste so much better than the water at home?

i sneeze violently. i'm pretty sure i've talked about this before. but it's the kind where you have to relax when you're done because it was so intense. definitely not very lady-like. i think i scare my co-workers when i sneeze. and i've been sneezing so much that they've stopped saying "bless you" after. =/

people in this part of the office don't steal my box of kleenex like they did when i sat in the back. i like that.

i'm totally eating a girl scout cookies right now. i know you're jealous. (well not you, ameer.)

don't you hate it when your boss comes up to you and says, "hey, you got a minute?" and then gestures for you to follow her (or him) to her (or his) office and closes the door.

yikes. =/

in my head i'm thinking "wow, this is either very serious business or very serious gossip." turned out to be a little bit of both.

i have a lot to think about. (which i guess is a nice change from the non-thinking that usually goes on in my head.) it's all very strange. i'll have to talk more about it later....

i'm definitely hypersensitive to my clothes smelling like food. i ALWAYS think my clothes smell like food, and i get paranoid that other people will be offended by me because i smell like food. apparently, i'm crazy.

people in my office keep talking about the atkins diet/low or no carb diet. i think it's strange that people would just want to eat meat and fat all day long just to lose weight. why would you put yourself through that? i think there's something to be said about a well-balanced diet, aka eating regular food with a few fruits and vegetable thrown in every day and drinking water (think the food pyramid). there must be a reason that doctors keep telling us to do it, right? it couldn't be because it actually works?? =P AND you get to eat all the food groups. not just the cows and pigs and fish and chickens and their fat. it's so crazy how widespread this diet has become...so much that restaurants and fast food chains have added it to their menus? i think that people also tend to forget that part of the deal with a lot of diets is that you have to also exercise. *gasp*

remember when we could eat and eat and eat whatever we wanted and never have to worry about it? that was nice.

i feel like i should blog because i seriously have nothing to do here at work. i can't check blogs anymore because it's no fun to read the same entries from forever ago. hint, hint. i have resorted to checking the grocery store ads to see what stuff i need to buy because it's on sale. so sad.

did you know that h&m has a maternity section? what a relief. you can get cute pants (and ajustable!) for super cheap. i don't understand why so much of the maternity stuff you see in the regular stores assume that pregnant people will want to wear piping and floral patterns in pastels. or just ugly clothes. hello. these are the same people that were shopping a few months ago in the next section over with nice clothes for normal belly-sized people.

hong is funny today.

and my blog is done.

i hate that blogout is down. i can't comment on any of your blogs that use it. =(

random: which would you prefer? ny strip steak or prime rib? and what do you think about chicken wellington? i was never really fan of meat wrapped in puff pastry....

aaaannnd.....

happy birthday lorie!!

sooooooOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOO bored. how does one become productive with nothing to do?

my computer is set to lock out after 20 minutes of sitting idle. i set that like two years ago, and now i can't figure out how i did it. i keep getting back to my computer after 19 minutes and 58 seconds of idle-ness pass. it's just annoying. i have to wait for the computer to lock, and then i have to log back in. help? anyone? and it's a network lock-out, not a screen saver one. i tried to get in through the network properties. nope. no good. this is the excitement of the work day. woo. hoo.

cold business.

it's cold here.
it's cold in the south. (north carolina is the south, right?)
i have a cold.

i actually stayed home sick today. staying home sick when you're actually sick is not so fun.

however: despite the cold, i might never exchange four seasons for one long summer (sorry, cali people). at least not anytime soon. =D

it is snowing. and it keeps snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

...and snowing...

....

it hasn't stopped since this morning.

the end.

i'm really bad at eating apples. i'm definitely an apple slices girl...but here's the thing: if you cut your apple before you go to work, the slices are gonna turn brown by the time you want to eat them. thumbs down on brown apple slices. i mean, you could rub them with lemon to keep them from oxidizing, but who wants to take time to do that? thus, the apple stays whole and is difficult to eat. it gets stuck in your teeth and apple juice is flying everywhere. why is it that fruit tastes so much better when chilled? mmm.

wow. the guy in the next cube just left. he's always here really late, making me feel guilty for leaving early (early in my office = before 6pm). i heard my manager leave, too. hmmm....do i stay or do i go? ahhhh! i must say that i was actually productive today. i learned stuff, too. it's kind of exciting to learn new stuff. i might actually be smart in my conference call on thursday. i hate being the junior engineer that just sits there not being able to contribute. although...it's scary to say anything conclusive in front of a client...they're gonna spend money based on what you just said, and wow, it would suck if you were wrong and cost them 50 grand.

decision: i'm going home.

so

sleeeeppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

happy friday!

finally.

this is me leaving early. woohoo! have a good weekend!!

i feel really bad. i sent a report to one of the project managers that always gives me work...and he called back: "is there something wrong? usually your reports are impeccable and i'm sending you a lot of comments." dangit. first of all, i didn't think that he thought my work was impeccable...especially since i felt he was pretty hard on me when i first started doing work for him. and second, i hate disappointing people. he thought i was suffering from a concussion or something. well i'm suffering from being constantly nauseated and crazy hormone changes, but i haven't told my manager yet and i didn't think he should be the first to know. bleh. work stuff. i'll get over it. and just to add to my day...i finally get my butt out of bed early enough that i'll be on time for work and it takes me two hours to get here. *sigh*

my mom is the cutest ever. this is an email she sent to my uncles and cousins:

-----

Subject: Good news!

I'm a future grandma. I'm so excited! rah rah rah

-----

who says rah rah rah? so cute. i love her to death.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

hellooooo 2004!

it's so sad that all my email consists of mortgage lenders and store promotions. can we please start emailing each other again?

so this is really hard to be sitting here with the other two people in the office. my manager just took off because she doesn't want to be here. nice. i think i slept too much over the weekend...got too used to it. i've been fighting sleep all day. blah blah blah. christmas was good. good times, good family, good food. lots of food. why don't i have more leftovers? they replayed the 1999 women's world cup final last night. what a sweet game. the u.s. women's soccer team rocks. they're just so endearing. i have no point to this blog.

aaaand...i'm done babbling.

what a busy weekend. eventful. crazy. fun. and that's all i have to say about that.

it's not even 10:00am and i'm already at my desk. =O!! it's like the first time in two weeks that i actaully started working at 8:00am. wow. i'm a bad employee. so here i am blogging because i'm avoiding doing my timesheet because..well, i really didn't do much work last week. i hate that. well whatever. things are slow. i think i'm over that one for now.

is it just me, or does it not feel like christmas time?

on my way to work this morning, the radio people announced that the nba was going to start a "basketblog". doc rivers and some other dude were going to be the first ones to start. are people really gonna read this???

it seriously would not have mattered if i came into work yesterday. or even today. i'm completely not busy. if only i didn't have a commitment on tuesday nights...i would be boarding right now. ahhh..boarding. =) there's nothing like the feeling of sitting at the top of a run and then standing up to take the first run...and then the sinking feeling that you might suck cuz it's been almost a year since the last time you've done this. hehe. there's also nothing like psyching yourself out on the way up the chair lift that you're gonna bite it while trying dismount. *note to self: need to shorten leash.

remember when we were in tahoe and hong laughed at every single one of us falling off the chair lift, the whole time not knowing he had a gash in his shin that went down to the bone?

i miss our big boarding trips. BUT! i'm glad we can have these mini boarding trips to our cute michigan "mountains".

punctuation lesson of the day:

is it...

a) The drum was labeled "empty."

or

b) The drum was labeled "empty".

??????????????????????????????

it's that time of year when doorknobs get dangerous..

you know what i'm talking about: you approach the doorknob. you hesitate. *will i get shocked this time?* you reach to open the doo--bzzt!! of course you'll get shocked! it's december and it's cold and you've been dragging your feet along the carpet. i like how i tap the doorknob first with the back of my hand because of course it won't hurt as much if i use the back of my hand. =P it's really cool when you actually see the voltage. but then it's not so cool because that probably means that it hurt a lot.

i wonder if there are any preventative measures that can be taken to avoid shocks...

you guys remember edsel?

he makes it look so easy.

the camera-ing and editing is not so bad either. you'll need quicktime to view.

my throat hurts. it feels like i'm gonna get really sick. the last time this happened to me was when i was 13 and it was like the only day i ever stayed home sick in junior high.

in other news: we're having our quarterly office bbq today. (yay! free lunch!) every quarterly office bbq our office manager spends a good portion of the morning cooking (or man-cooking, aka grilling) for the entire office. i think that's so nice. cooking for someone says a lot. totally changes my perspective on him. huh.

in less thrilling news: ever since i've moved cubes, no one has stolen my box of tissues....*pause*... should i have just said that out loud?

it is nice when a stranger smiles at you.

here's a story for the day:

there was this girl who lived in the same dorm as me my freshman year. always saw her around....always exchanged friendly smiles. she was one of those people that gave you a genuine smile which made you think she'd be really nice. she was also pretty. after a while we ended up running into each other all over campus and having these five minute conversations...which turned into ten minute conversations...etc...

except i never knew her name.

so everytime i talked to her, i'd be wondering what the heck her name was (fairly certain that she didn't know my name either). i mean, once you get into the frequent 5 minute conversations, you're way past the introductory phase where it would be okay to not know her name. *sigh* so for four years i had all these random conversations with a stranger.

the end.

i've had to talk to quite a few strangers over the last couple days for extended periods of time. i have the following conclusions:

.people are either really nice or really abrasive. i find most people to be very friendly and many of the abrasive ones to be normally friendly people with bad days or pms.

.the normally abrasive people suck to deal with. they make you appreciate the normally friendly people. a lot. i wonder what makes them so harsh. bitterness? perpetual bad attitude? too cynical? too self-centered? social moron?

.there is not much you can do to change a normally abrasive person. just gotta grin and bear it, i guess.

.i am very thankful most people are normally friendly. i don't understand people who aren't. the remorse and guilt that follow meanness would be too much for me to bear...not only that, but isn't it nice to make people smile?

i heard a song on the radio this morning that i could not, no matter how hard i concentrated, figure out some of the words. this is a pretty frequent occurence, and i've been caught way too many times singing the wrong words, so i wanted to look up the words online. i sang the words i knew over and over in my head (filling in the words i didn't know with a mumbled made up word that sounds kinda right) so i wouldn't forget it. and now that i've remembered to look up the song lyrics, i can't remember what the song was or what it was about or even one single part or word in it. darnit. oh, what was that song???

my group is getting slow. you know what this means. we're gonna have tons and tons of work right when we don't want it. oh well. thus is work.

i moved cubes. it's smaller and in an uncool location in the office (read: next to the office nazi and in the same area as the really loud annoying guy.) but whatever, we all got moved around, so it's lonely everywhere now. the plus: my cube is now across from the co-worker that went to the pistons game where they were giving out free tayshaun prince bobble heads to the first 10,000 fans. tayshaun prince is great. and guess who got the co-worker's free bobble head? ME!! yeah! (he didnt' want it, calm down.) it doesn't look like him though. i don't think any of the bobble heads look like the player they are supposed to be. do you bobble your head when you say bobble head? hehehehe....

i ate my chicken shawarma sandwich at my desk, and apparently made my entire section smell like garlic. i can't smell a darn thing, so who knows how bad my breath is kicking at the moment. listerine sheets would be useful right now. i had to settle for shocktarts. tangent. anyway....you know how rubbing your hands on stainless steel under cold water gets the the garlicky and onion-y smell off your hands after you've handled garlic and onions? i wonder if the same would work on your mouth. like if i were to eat with a stainless steel spoon, would the garlic smell go away? i guess it would be faster to suck on a stainless steel spoon, but that's just weird.

the office nazi got kicked out of her office and now has a secretary cube. can you say bitter? she's being nasty today. i hope it goes away.

note to self: next time there's a free kick and you're in the wall, do not connect face with the ball being kicked from five feet away.

apparently the bruises are practically invisible. kimmy says it's just cuz i'm so tan. good thing i went to hawaii.

ahhh...i can see my desk. all of them. this saturday is our office cleanup day (yeah,yeah..working on a saturday. it gets us an extra day off at christmastime.) i'm getting a head start...just so i won't have to work the whole day on saturday. i've removed several pounds of paper off my desk to the filing cart. i know my secretary must love me. ahhahahahahahaha. i must remember to have dusting supplies this weekend. it's too bad my desk has been buried, otherwise i think the cleaning lady might wipe it down every onece in a while. and should we discuss how dirty the phone gets? hmm. i think maybe not? (as i wipe down the earpiece..) eww.....

my manager brought in all her leftover halloween candy*.

*let me first note that her husband bought all kinds of candy -- really good candy -- from bit o' honeys to those huge chewy sweetarts to the inside out reese's peanut butter cups to sprees...you get the point. AND he got LOTS of candy. few trick-or-treaters + lots of candy = lots of leftovers.

i'm not huge on sweets, but when all kinds of candy from my childhood are readily available, i just want to eat it all. (oh, and i'm a girl. 'nuff said.) now the dilemma: my manager sits on the other side of the office (the 'boring' side, if you will) and has placed the candy on the secretary's desk. and i really have no business going over to the boring side of the office near the candy without looking like a complete cow. therefore, i must devise several plans to discuss work-related material with my manager, therefore putting the candy conveniently on my way in or out of her office.

i don't know why someone keeps stealing my box of tissues. =(

it's like someone not replacing the roll of toilet paper.

it's like third grade in my office.

there's a parade --

a BIG clown just walked by complete with the honking red nose. (why do they make their noses honk? is it really that funny?) and there went a headless horsewoman and her pumpkin head...and a doctor...and cruella deville complete with dalmations jacked from a fellow coworker's daughter....and a french maid with purple hair and man legs (that belong to a man)....and a hunter (that's our office manager. he has a sign that says 'A/R hunter' cuz the project managers are really bad at getting invoices out.)...and a genie...and a cowgirl...and a biker chick. man, people went all out. i am highly entertained.

--and we even get a pizza party for lunch!

i just wore all black and brought in kit kats. i have my fairy wings hanging in my cube. i could be like the dark evil fairy.

hmmm.

or not.

anyway...happy halloween!

boredom has taken over.

my manager is gone and i seriously have NOTHING to do. it often seems that i have nothing to do based on my im activities, but really....i'm usually busy. (i'm just an excellent multitasker ;D.) today, nothing. thanks to fung, i have resolved to googling your home phone number (if i have it) to see if your address will pop up in the results.

the office nazi is "orientating" the new employee in the cube kitty corner from mine. it's amazing how sickeningly sweet and nice she is being. little does the new employee know that she is conversing with a horrible little troll that will be the worse secretary ever and most condescending person in the office....

a list:

- chaos soccer rules
- cold corn tortillas: not so good
- i need to buy eggs
- it's really nice out and yesterday it was in the 30s
- i did not barf yesterday, though i was close
- i love gift certificates
- 30-minute meals is a great great thing
- you have to wash a lot of dishes when you cook every day

that's all.

speaking of barfing....i've been dizzy for the last week. i can't quite shake it (..sha-shake it, shake it like a polaroid picture). lorie thinks i might be pregnant. i say no way. alvin's been dizzy all week, too. he, on the other hand, might be pregnant. can i just say how weird it is that if i were to get pregnant right now, that it would be okay?

i might barf* today. we start indoor tonight....fives plus the goalie, 2 girls on the field at all times. i fear that because i haven't run since before the wedding...i just might barf after two minutes on the field. we lost our star girl player this session. boo. so right now there's three girls...and since fung and i don't play offense...sorry, conehead. it's all you. ;D just kidding. you have a sub. just one. =) this is exciting. physical activity. i'm not quite conveying the excitement. let me just give a WOOHOO!!! there we go.

*the funniest word lorie knows is "barf". i think it's the funny because she says it like she's barfing.

why do you think we store our pens/pencils in our pen/pencil cups with the caps up? all my markers and bic pens are sitting in cap-side up. one would think that we would store them the other way to promote the flow of ink easily through the ball point. i know this. i believe it. yet i don't change. when i pick up a pen to write with, i want to be able to write immediately instead of scribbling on a scrap piece of paper to get the ink flowing. and let's be honest...do we always have a scrap piece of paper to scribble on?

i am sitting here waiting to deliver a report. i was supposed to deliver it to the client by 2pm. i'm still waiting for the text from another office.

basically, i'm bored.

i hate that i'm bored. i hate that i have so much stuff to do but i can't do it because at any minute i'll have to leave...and it will most likely be right smack dab in the middle of an intense train of thought. er...did i say can't? i meant "don't want to". hehe.

i'm a bit light headed. i don't know if it's from all the campfire smoke (lots and LOTS) from the weekend or from not showering or changing my clothes for three days or from being sick for hanging out outside when it's 35 degrees....or maybe it's just a sign that i should go home and sleep. sleeeeeep. yeah! i didn't sleep too well last night. i woke up at 5am for no reason. no reason! perhaps i am coming down with something. maybe....laziness?? i feel that i am the least motivated of all my friends.

....aaannd i gotta go deliver the report. ha. i knew it!!! thank goodness for blogging and e-ddt to make the time go by....

more later.

T.G.I.F.

i suck.

my week is officially not going well.

went to chicago today.

i went to chicago like i go to ann arbor for the day. in a car. but much farther.

let's never do this again.

i was a complete dumbhead today on many levels. but we're over it.

on top of that, my leg is telling me that it will rain soon.

my tummy hurts. ate too much good food for chrissy's bday dinner at bucas. went to coldstone after. it's overratted and i was full, yet i ate. ughhhh....

anyway.

this weekend i was finally emerged back into "the swing of things"...actually hung out with someone that wasn't eric. (and i think i'm finally over my jet lag.) i'm still reeling from the wedding. i'm about as good as this one is at vocabulary, and to say that it was the most unbelievable time would be like saying God is smart.


.i'm so touched that a million peope who we love dearly came from so far away to be with us on that day.

.i loved that wherever i looked in the church and in the reception hall i saw a face of someone that i was so incredibly happy to see.

.i loved that i could jump from one end of the dance floor to the other and jam with every single person on the way from point A to point B.

.i loved that we all sang and jumped and danced our brains out to songs that some people would be ashamed of knowing every word to...(ahem..."ooh baby do you know what that's worth").

.i loved that not one of us hesitated when eric demanded that we all do the running man like our lives depended on it.

.i loved that vibe had a mini jam session in the entry way just like the good old days.

.i loved that love was just ridiculously oozing out of every person there. if i didn't kiss you and tell you i loved you at the reception, i must have missed you and i owe you a kiss and this is me telling you that i love you. =)

.i loved that 50 of you organized from all over the country to bring back old old old skool to brand brand new dances just for us to remember and celebrate what brought us together as a family.

.i love all the pictures and posts and emails and e-ddt going on. *high five for the internet* (two times...)


eric and i were sitting in the airport the day after the wedding going "i can't believe that just happened to us." seriously...i have never felt so much emotion and love and joy than on that day. the whole day. i'm sure there were things that went wrong...and i'm sure that the best wedding party ever to be a wedding party kept all that secret from us...but i was floating. i still am. i might never come down.

what really amazes me is that with all the love we felt that day and still feel today, that that is not even a glimpse of what God has for us. and it really is He who made that day so amazing. it would not have been anything close to what it was if not for Him. the biggest group hug in the world...my heart was overflowing and overflowing at the point. ("i can only imagine....")

*sigh*

i love you guys so much. =)

HAPPY
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY,
DINNER
BUDDY!!!!!

aaaannd...

we're back.

did these past two weeks really just happen?

...more to come.

t minus 5 days 23 hours and 59 minutes til the big day...

i wonder why they say "t minus".

when i did plays in high school we called the week of the show "hell week", which is kind of what this kind of reminds me of....scrambling to get everything together so it's just so, but not so much hell...maybe we should rename it "carrrraaaazzzy week". ha. that was dumb.

i've cried a lot...mostly because i'm gonna miss my family sooo soo much. but, really, i'm not gonna miss them like i'm moving to alaska or something (because i'm moving a mile away)...deep down i know it's because they mean more to me than they know. well...they know now. it's very strange to think that when i wake up on christmas, my brother won't be jumping on my bed yelling "time to open the presents!!!" and my mom yelling at us every sunday morning before church "are you up?" and then hauling ass so we won't hear the dreaded car horn. anyway...the important thing is to get all that crying stuff out of the way so i can focus on marrying the man i love so much.

usually the times when i'm crying, i'm not really crying for me. my mom always tells me that i get too emotionally invested in other people's feelings. i'll cry for you and with you if you're sad. i'll be truly angry and upset with you if you're angry and upset. i'll even hunt whoever got you that mad down and beat them up. i will jump up and down and smile with you when you're happy. basically, i'm super empathetic. but you know what? i can't help it. i just love everyone too much!

okay, i should have posted this yesterday, but i "stayed home sick" so i didn't really jump on a computer yesterday for longer than 5 minutes..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUNSO!!!!

watch out, everyone...she's fully legal. she's buying alcohol and everything with her very own i.d. and for the record, eric met her when she was 12. ahahahahahahahaahaha....

i have been spoiled.

you really can't beat front row courtside tickets to any game, much less the wnba finals. it's all about cheering and screaming and the players and refs and them actually hearing you. so. much. fun.

too much stuff is going on in my head. i'm starting to get that overwhelming feeling of having too much to do. i thrived in that feeling all through college (and high school and middle school). i have since learned to relax and take time to just hang out with people. i think what i like most about not being super busy is not having to mentally check things off in my head and think about what's next and what do i have to do to be ready for the next thing...and instead i get to focus on my family or my friends and what's going on with them and if they're happy or sad or in between.

in a nutshell...these last few months have made me really evaluate where i am with my family and God and myself....and i've been preparing myself to leave my extremely wonderful family to start a life with an equally (if not more) wonderful man. and a part of doing that is really cherishing the moments that i am at home and i can spend time with my family....it gets hard when i'm always thinking about that phone call i forgot to make and the thing i was supposed to do a week ago and when i was gonna find time to pack or do laundry. so i guess i'm really thankful that i didn't schedule myself to death after graduation the way i did in college. eric used to ask me what i wanted to do with myself after graduation....what am i passionate about? what do you want to do that's not work? and all i could answer was that i really felt God calling me to spend time with my family, spend time with my friends..really be there for them the way a good friend should. it felt silly at the time, because being that not busy felt lazy to me. who knew that He was getting me ready for the big change that will happen in two weeks.

TWO WEEKS!!!!

i am very excited. wheeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is kind of unbelievable, so it must be recorded.

it's 6:55am and i've been at work for 15 minutes.

i opened my email to see this message (regarding idaho):

did you already order the historical/database stuff for this and get your plane ticket?

don't ask yet why i'm asking. it will just piss you off.

needless to say, i will not be very upset if i don't have to go.

i went to einstein's this morning and saw that they had pumpkin spice muffins out already. ?!!?!! it's a seasonal item, they say. i hate it when marketing forces the seasons to change when they most definitely have not. people! just take a look at the calendars. on september 23rd it clearly states "autumn begins". can we please stop and bask in summer before we get all grumpy when the weather turns gray? and will launch please please put summertime sounds back on the station list?

so i'm off to idaho. not just yet..on monday. it's very strange to say that i am going to idaho.

i am going to idaho.

eric asked me yesterday to name two cities in idaho. "uhh..boise....and...." *nothing* (we came up with another ridiculous name, but it's too ridiculous to put in writing because it's THAT fake.)

so now i know two more cities. the one i'm flying into and the one i'm visiting. ha.

i kind of wish that it was december and my snowboarding buddies could come with...cuz i'm going to the corner of idaho that touches wyoming, colorado and utah. i almost flew into utah to get a cheaper flight. but who wants to drive three hours once you get off a 5 hour flight? well...i guess i would if it meant that work was paying for me to fly and stay and eat out there with a car and my site inspection just so happened to land on a thursday and i couldn't get a flight out til sunday and my snowboarding gear just happened to end up in my luggage. =P tangent. my whole morning has been wasted finding flights to pocattello airport. must eat.

happy wednesday! (it feels like a monday. how cool is that?)

for the record, the summertime sounds station on launch is the best. if you want to bob your head as you im me (ahem, "work"), you should take a listen....

have you ever tried dusting off your phone and your stapler and your tape dispenser with tape? it's highly effective.

yes. work is that interesting today.

i rolled into my office parking lot 20 minutes ago...and i totally fell asleep for 20 minutes before i got out of the car. i've been really sleepy on my way to work lately. it's time to consider a closer place of work.

i ate too much.

don't you hate when you eat yourself stupid? i think i'm still full from yesterday....

[at the movies]: wanna get concessions? i have $5 off. "okay."
[after the movie]: wanna go to b-dubs? it's 30 cent tuesday. "okay."
[after dinner]: wanna go to coldstone and get super awesome ice cream? *pause* "okay."

i'm so stupid! although there isn't a single item that i can eat myself stupid with. (well except for oreos, but that's only because when you dunk the oreo in milk you have to put the whole thing in your mouth or else the cookie will fall apart. thank goodness for the orDIPeo.) my brother eats a lot of ice cream. A LOT. he can eat more ice cream than anyone i know. it's actually pretty gross. hehe. (love you ny!) eric will eat dessert no matter what (especially if cookies are involved). in fact, if given the opportunity, he would probably eat dessert first and last. kimmie is a fan of dip-type foods. crackers and spinach dip, apples and caramel dip, chips and salsa....i think she would like pita bread and hummus if she ever tried it.

do you think that if i drink a lot of water i'll feel better? (the logic lies in the dilution factor. hmm...)

"see? this is what happens when you always wait until the last minute to get gas."

most memorable quote of the 'BLACKOUT OF 2003' by my mom. mmm. thanks, mom. really. can you please pick a worse time to begin a mini lecture?. gridlock. 90 degrees and humid. no gas, therefore no a/c. i'm just trying to get home! it was amazing that i even got through on the phone. but that's my mom. super practical and conservative with the gas tank. she's one of those that thinks she has no gas when the needle dips below the 1/2-full mark. 1/2 tank?!! that's like to ann arbor and back with gas to spare! anyway...i can laugh about it with her now. i know those mini lectures come from her wanting us to learn from our mistakes...and if we learn from that mistake then we can save her the worry next time. i love her to death.

i wonder what it must be like for her to have to bear the sole parental burden of worrying about us three kids for these last 6 years. today marks my dad's 6 year death anniversary. i remember when he got sick and when he got better and then sick again and then God finally took his pain away forever and left me sad and angry and confused. and then there was healing. and now it's today. six years later. i hardly mention him partly because it's weird to have people not know what to say besides "i'm sorry" (when there really isn't anything to say) and also because if you get me at a fragile moment, i'll probably start crying. i used to have to leave the room during the father/daughter dance at weddings because i would get so so sad knowing that my daddy wouldn't be at my wedding to dance with me. but no tears! daddy's in a Better Place (or on his way there, i'm still praying) and i have the most wonderful family ever. plus my mom rocks on the dance floor. i'll dance with her instead. =D

conclusion of the morning: more trucks on the freeway = more traffic. much more.

woohoo!! gary and mads have the most precious baby girl. happy birthday lucia!

we're sooo spoiling that little girl.

i am wearing new pants. =D

i haven't gotten new clothes for fun in a long time. it's actually kind of nice to not really really need (actual meaning: want) to have the latest and greatest in clothes...or to constantly buy new clothes (constantly=once a month or more frequently). it's nice to have that desire to be replaced by "i could either get these really cool shoes that i may or may not wear a lot or have a nice dinner with eric" or "i could get this awesome bag or not get it so we have money to go to mammoth in december". life's so different when your money isn't just your money. there's really no room for unbudgeted selfishness. the only thing that's a little funny is that since you share money, when you get each other gifts...the gift is technically from the other person, but then is it really because you kind of half paid for it? and if you're spending one person's income and saving the other person's, then you didnt' even half pay for it if you're the one whose money is being saved. heehee.

so back to my new pants...i love them. that's it. i'm basically excited about new clothes and wanted to share. that stuff about sharing money was just a tangent.

so not to keep talking about this site....the wooded one...i know you're probably all hating it as much as me....so the woods. four weeks going on five. it's been hot. i have a weird tan line. i've been soaked in bug spray. it has sucked. today was the last day of it, and lo and behold on our way back to the site after lunch we get a phone call:

"um, when you guys get this message you need to come back to the office because the job has been cancelled."

WTH?!!!! i'm not really mad (although the last few weeks have been pretty torturous)....because despite the woods and stuff it has been a really good site. some really good stories...lots of deaths and suicides and psychos...cool stuff like electroshock bathtubs and labotomy observation rooms....met some interesting characters and learned a lot of stuff for work. i suppose the best part is that i don't have to write up the monster report. although it might suck when the developer calls us in two months saying the project is back on and can you get us that report and remember all that stuff from 3 months ago? but we won't worry about that right now.

i'm a little bit giddy. this news has created a buzz around the company, and i've also just consumed a very large caramel frappaccino. i should work. i've been completely useless today. (hmm..that must be the coffee talking.....)

it has gotten to the point that when i drive and i see wooded areas i think "wow, that would be really crappy to walk through." it's bad when i close my eyes and i see thickets and branches and vines and prickers. and the thought "they don't pay me enough to do this" goes through my head. a few realizations:

a) the project manage and developer officially suck for making us walk 5 hours a day through the bush for the last 4 weeks.
b) walking 5 hours a day through the bush for 4 weeks causes my leg to ache and ache and ache, thus making me miss our last soccer game (arghh...)
c) bone injuries ache more when it's going to rain or is raining
d) off! with deet is great bug spray
e) although d)=true, there is nothing that will keep icky deer flies from attacking you constantly.

but no worries! the light is visible at the end of the tunnel.....one more day to endure, and hopefully i will never have to return. =D

p.s. 54 days and counting...

hahahaahahah...working from home! la la la la la!

apparently my last entry made me sound like i was in a deep upsetting state. not so. there wasn't really much of a need to feel better as there was a need to eat chocolate. hehe. i'm not sure that made sense. but it's good to shed a couple tears now and then, no? i mean, if you never cried just because people don't usually cry, what would happen when you finally did cry? all emotions and pent up "tough guy/girl" tears will just all cascade into an avalanche of deep hiccuping sobs, a stuffy nose, and an inability to speak until said hicupping sobs subside. it's kind of nice to be able to cry with someone. not that both people will be crying....but that you can freely shed tears and the other person will just understand that it's necessary to cry and won't fall all over the place trying to comfort you because it's not really needed. (that was a really bad run-on sentence. i seem to speak in those quite often.)